Sensitive topic..

Still in the process of the digesting the words that were said yest.. but felt like releasing abit out by blogging..

As usual, I went to apple's house to meet him and have dinner yest.. just b4 he took his bath and eating our dinner, he said something to me: "my mum asked us to apply a flat together.." I was definitely taken aback by his words and thought it was a joke, cuz according to wat i heard from my frens, tat's one of the lousiest way of saying: "let's get married.." after getting together with apple for almost a yr, i realised he is someone who wun do tings without planning and concurrently - which means one time only can do one ting, so i guessed it cant be real.. BUT on the other hand, these words sparks off abit of my hope and expectation unknowingly..

*will skip the middle part where we were shoppin at jur pt*

During the ride home, i asked or rather, i verified with him on whether he meant the words he said earlier.. He said ya, *stop for a sec*, but need to plan and start saving money first.. den he continued by starting to mention abt marriage.. as usual, i was shocked for a sec, but back to normal wen he continued.. he said now govt got increase the 'rebate' for buyin a new hse, and moreover he wan to stay near parents, so can get more rebate too.. den he said wait for me to finish my studies, and we will proceed with the next step in rabbit or dragon yr.. i kept quiet for awhile and said that i will grad next yr, and he said that mayb i wan to change job, den need time to settle down, so rabbit or dragon is better.. i duno wat to say to most of his words, so i only replied "ok".. wen it was abt to reach my place, he was mumbling abt sth, seemed like he is counting his age.. den i got hm and it's time to say goodbye to him again..

*afterwords*
the words had been hovering my mind for a day again.. and it was such a coincidence tat my colleagues were talkin me and marriage the day b4.. weird.. hmm.. kinda difficult to describe how i felt now, but i guessed i can be okay again.. maybe it's my problem.. or i had been tinkin too gd abt tings and started to become a little bit selfish.. or tinkin too much esp wen the r'ship between us have been quite stable now.. so i started to tink abt the next stage of life at times.. but fantasy and reality are 2 different matters, yet i always like to mix them together bcuz reality is very hurting.. i always tink of the fantasy side wen tings goes wrong.. i dun deny tat i was abit disappointed initially to hear tat it would be another 2 or 3 yrs.. it made me felt it's very far though time flies fast.. apple is growing older by the day, and so do i.. i would be 27 or 28 by then.. and it oso take some time to expand the family - it's not as if u wan den u wil get de.. the thought of it sianz me abit.. i am not desperate to get married off, and i wun do anythin to tell apple anytin.. it's his choice and i told him i will let him decide..

but after tinkin for awhile, some tings jus cant be rushed.. mayb we would be at a better position to do tings.. marriage is a lifetime ting, if we wan it to be memorable, alot of effort would have to be put it to make it happen.. though no one can determine anythin might happen this few years, as long as we believe in one another, tings will definitely turn out right.. apple is mine now, and i will make him mine always (abit too greedy hor..?)