happy and sad

apple gave me a surprise yest by coming to visit me after he booked out from his camp.. was reli happy to see him bcuz i cant go out at all due to my chicken pox.. he didnt stay long bcuz i was doin my online test at tat time, but i was on the verge of crying wen he gave me pecks on my hands outside my gate - too touched/emotional/or simply missed him too much again..?? another happy ting was i scored full marks for my quiz.. though it doesnt constitute much to my final score, but this is one big achievement as it had been a long time since i scored such a score.. mayb apple brought me luck..?? or i was too happy to see him, thus i was in the mood to tink and answer carefully..??

but the sad ting was.. i cant get out of my house.. i noe it's for my own gd that i stayed at hm, but the doc says i can go out and walk walk, jus tat i cant go work only ma (as long as my scabs stil haven fallen off).. how i wished apple can bring me out to walk, but he declined.. so sad.. haiz..

another ting is i reli got super sick and tired of my work liao.. this is a wrong career switch for me.. i am reli not suitable for such a job.. and i dun wan to waste my youth continuing this.. i stil missed the old environment, but not the retail hours.. where all of us sweat, cry, curse and swear together.. everyone is like a big family, but here, i jus cant feel it.. i missed my buddies or rather tat kind of work environment.. how i wished i could turn back time.. *wake up!!

Flashback of memory..

was sittin at the dining table this morning, munchin into a pc of butter roll and drinkin tasteless milo when i started to stone.. stone.. stone.. and many images just came alive on the blank wall in front of me.. all the flashback of the past.. got good and bad ones..

wun talk abt the bad one, cuz since it's bad, no pt talkin abt it..

as for the good ones, as usual, it's abt apple.. ever since we were together, there were times that i would tink abt how we met and the times we were together. but this flashback is slightly different.. it brought me back to the inner me at those pts of times.. wat was i feeling and tinkin.. which gave me a feeling that tings are reli miraculous.. it's reli hard to explain how fate/"coincidence" allows two ppl to meet, make frens and falls in love.. nv would i thought that my best online fren is my apple now, except for times tat i was secretly admiring him and fantacising.. getting to hold his hands, getting his little 'shocks' everytime.. all these jus felt fantastic.. all the 'impossibles' that i once thought became reality.. tinkin abt the days we were hangin outside, the days we were of 'unknown' status, the days we were jus plain frens.. i could only say: 无限的感动尽在不言中.. trying to preserve all these memories as much as possible, bcuz time might distort them..

duno y, recently kept having this thought of something, but out of a sudden jus cant put them into words.. nvm.. wish everyone have a healthy and long life ba..

思念是一种很玄的东西

Was tinkin abt apple jus now while drying my hair, and he called me.. coincidence again (or pre-destined)?

While listening to him, i duno y, jus felt overwhelmed again and started tearin after i put down the phone.. i reli missed him alot.. esp now i'm down with chicken pox.. and mayb after wat he did on sat..?

this reminds me of the first sentence of this song.. and the whole song..

我愿意 - 王菲

思念是一种很玄的东西
如影~随形
无声又无息出没在心底
转眼~吞没我在寂默里
我无力抗拒 特别是夜里 喔~
想你到无法呼吸
恨不能立即 朝你狂奔去
大声的告诉你~
愿意为你 我愿意为你
我愿意为你 忘记我姓名
就算多一秒 停留在你怀里
失去世界也不可惜
我愿意为你 我愿意为你
我愿意为你 被放逐天际
只要你真心 拿爱与我回应
什么都愿意
什么都愿意 为你

我无力抗拒 特别是夜里 喔~
想你到无法呼吸
恨不能立即 朝你狂奔去
大声的告诉你~
愿意为你 我愿意为你
我愿意为你 忘记我姓名
就算多一秒 停留在你怀里
失去世界也不可惜
我愿意为你 我愿意为你
我愿意为你 被放逐天际
只要你真心 拿爱与我回应
什么都愿意
什么都愿意 为你
我什么都愿意
什么都愿意 为你

Chicken Pox vs Lovesick

Was down with chicken pox and lovesick the same day..

It was a total miserable experience for an adult like me to go thru the pain and torture of having chicken pox, bcuz i looked like a freak and the spots are super itchy.. at the same time, i'm worryin abt my classes cuz i cant attend sch and mayb would not be able to catch up on time.. and oso hopefully i need not have to clear all the loads wen i am back, by then tink i will fall sick again..

On the other hand, apple is away for his reservist. Though this may not sound like a big thing cuz in the first place i will stil get to see him today and tml if i am workin at GAH! roadshow at jur pt. but i guess it's stil enough for me to be lovesick liao..

But the surprise is he came to visit me at my hse today!! was super surprised and happy thou he did say tat he wan to make a trip down, i was tellin him not to as i am stil super contagious and ugly.. and when he was scoopin the coconut flesh and water, i was reli touched.. how i wished i can give him a hug or kiss, but i cant.. i was afraid that he wil catch the virus for the second time..

oh.. i reli missed him alot..

These 14 days...

For the past 14 days, it can be considered as one of the hardest part of my study life and the most emotional part of my r'ship.

In doing things, I am either a 'first-min' or 'last-min' person - I can do it very fast or I will drag it until the thing is so urgent for me to do.. And this time round, I am a 'last-min' person again in doin my work proj.. It was so miserable to slp only a few hrs a day, juggling between work and studies everyday.. Unlike those days where I would only have to concentrate on one thing - studies..

This proj was a tough one bcuz I could hardly find sufficient references to support my argument, and I was panicking when I realised some of my points were wrong after attending the last tutorial, which was 2 days b4 the deadline.. oh gosh.. but with that level of 'alertness', I could only try my best to concentrate on the main points.. Hopefully stil can get a good grade.. *cross my fingers*

And finally it was sat, and I was going for a double date and ktv session (I love ktv~).. That was my first double date (i suppose so) and I was lookin forward to it.. But before the actual meeting, I would need to meet my apple first.. The last time I saw apple for more than a week ago, can imagine how much I reli missed him.. He was having a bad cough after working under the rain and hot sun during the week.. was kinda heartache to see him like that.. We went to pray pray first before heading to our next destination - orchard. Tink it had been too long since I went for a gd walk, cuz I felt as if I was like a bird who jus got released out of the cage.. haha.. Everyday jus shuffling between work and home, nearly driving me crazy.. Orchard is not a common place for apple and me, cuz it was always crowded and mayb too 'hyped' for us - not much tings that we are interested to see.. hehe..

Sidetrack again.. prior to this meeting, I had posted a blog entry abt us, and apple saw it.. There were some action plans mentioned, but I felt sooo bad that I told him 'jus be the normal apple'.. Mayb I shouldnt hv written tat blog, cuz I didnt wan him to do anything, but on the other hand, if i didnt write tat blog, I wouldnt noe I didnt wan change.. Got both sides to look at this matter.. But it made me realised one thing, and I will elaborate later..

Back to the 'story'.. During the singing session, apple couldnt sing much due to his bad cough, so most of the singing was done by me.. And when it was not my turn to sing, I was back to my usual silly routine, looking at apple again.. everytime i see his face, it jus made me realised how much i love him and dun wan him to leave me.. Love reli grows over time.. it had grew so big that i dun wan to let go/feared to lose him.. Apple is not a fantastic singer (esp wen he is sick), but hearing him sing (when others were singing) was the sweetest thing at tat moment (+ leaning beside him)..

The four of us went for dinner after the session and we parted ways after that.. It was raining again.. And strange to say, almost all my dates with apple were 'rain-free', we seldom get caught in the rain.. After a brief walk, we decided to head for home and another memorable moment came.. *slips it into my memory pocket*

It was raining very heavily when we got to the bus stop near my house, but it was almost impossible to walk home in the rain as it was quite a distance away.. So we loitered around the blocks near the bus stop, hoping the rain will be lighter wen we walked back.. actually hor, i didnt wan to go back so early too (selfish side of me), jus wished this moment can be longer and forever, bcuz too long din see him liao.. walking by the rain (at the corridor) felt so romantic at tat moment.. hehe.. we took the lift up to the highest level and took a view of the raining city, it's so beautiful.. wah~ And we walked back to the bus stop to 'look' at the street and rain.. he was standing one step above me, so i got the chance to hug him (*evil grin) and it was reli very comfy.. I was totally immersed so much tat for tat short while, it jus felt the world belonged to us only.. or i am simply "被爱冲昏了头", too overly in love..?

It was getting late, and his cough seemed to get worse, so we decided to brave the rain and walked back to my block.. As usual (if he din drive), we would take the lift to my level, 'admire the scenary a little bit more' and kiss goodbye.. hehe.. hmm.. duno y, till now, everytime he kissed me, i would stil hv the 'electrocuted' feeling and my heart would beat super fast.. 这次也不例外.. We had a good and nice one, but i started crying after tat.. oh no, wat's wrong with me..? and the funniest part was, everytime i saw him cried while watching movies, I would laugh, so this time round, when he saw me crying, he was also laughin and he took out his camera to take shots of me (lucky i covered my face).. but reli strange, i duno y i cried.. was it too long tat i didnt see him and missed him too much..? or i felt so bad abt seeing him sick..? or I was sorry and wrong abt myself in writing tat blog..? or we had a great day..? I reli dun hv an answer to this at all.. mayb the first one, cuz i remembered i kept sayin i reli missed him alot..

As it was still raining, I passed him an umbrella and I walked him to the traffic lights.. usually he wun let me do so, but i tink he noes i wanted to see him longer.. tat's the end of our saturday adventure..

He did not report for work on monday bcuz he was sick, and I was actually tinkin of droppin some food and takin a short glance of him during lunchtime, but he refused to let me do so.. but in the end, I went after work cuz jus cant put my heart down knowin that he's sick.. before i went to see him, i sent him a msg to ask how was he and lied tat i was goin to see a fren.. and before he replied, i oredi popped up at his gate.. upon seeing him, i could only described the feeling as "melted" cuz he looked so haggard and my heart ached for him again.. *jus wondering, how come my heart ached so easily after i got into a bgr..?* I sat at his hse for abt 2 hrs and it's time to go hm.. He walked me to the shelter near the traffic lights, and i was again draggin my time abit more.. but i got emotional again.. the urge of crying was there again.. faster ciaoz beta b4 i *hua-la-la*..

fast forward abit.. i met him up fri for dinner at his hse and walk walk at jur pt, tryin to look for bday presents for ppl.. and home sweet home after tat..

sat is here again.. I met him at simei, ate our lunch there, and bought a present for his fren.. he asked me along to ktv later in the evening with his army frens.. at first i wanted to bring my fren along, but she got something on, so i was tinkin not very convenient as all guys ma.. but he said it's ok.. we went to pray pray at the loyang tua pek gong temple after that.. that was the first time I went there and we passed by the place he worked.. hehe.. the sun was scorching hot wen we got to tat place.. the place was huge and magnificient.. for me, i had always been a half-past six, never a religious person though i hv a religion.. but i will stil go pray pray, but duno the proper procedures involved la.. hehe.. i followed what apple does, and prayed for everything that i can think of.. when we came out, the sky was dark and along the way to loyang point, it started to drizzle and it was pouring heavily wen we were inside.. phew~ lucky.. I got another turtle/tortoise in my collection again.. haha.. after that we proceed to my house, where he parked his car there.. we rested awhile at my hse while i freshen myself up abit..

Den we went to kbox marina for singing and that was where i saw the real apple.. tink bcuz he was recovering from his cough and flu, he became more active liao.. saw the 'crazy' side of him and got to hear alot more songs.. wahaha.. near the end of the session, i dedicated a song to him cuz found the lyrics quite similar to us.. hehe.. and of cuz it's time to go hm again.. as usual, i wil try to drag a little bit more la, but to a certain extent only.. he had spent almost half a day with me, i should be contented liao.. haha.. we walked back to his car, and under unprepared circumstances, i was kissed.. the 'electrocution' started again and my heart was beating so fast.. frankly speakin, i like tat feeling.. ur heart was pumping fast, and sth like a electricity was circulating in between the heart and stomach.. cant reli describe it.. hmm.. but i seemed to get addicted to it, and hope it would be longer everytime.. haha.. he started his car engine, and i thought no more liao.. but b4 he reli sat in his seat, i got another good and nice experience again.. haha.. but i duno y again.. i felt like crying.. kena electrocuted too much..?

oh, backtrack abit.. i liked a new term used by him, though he gave me a new nickname yest.. guinea pig.. hurh! anyway, i was sayin tat i lied to him on monday wen i went to visit him.. den he asked me which fren, i said boyfren oso fren ma.. he said that he is "more than bf", and i kept on probing, den wat does "more than bf" means? he came up with the term "honey" after a few probes.. though we were jokingly and fooling ard, i liked wat he said abt "more than bf", and i can name him honey apple instead of jus apple.. it sounds logical and reasonable too.. but i shall kept the term within us.. cuz too mushy for u all.. haha.. now looking forward to our 'rendevous' next week.. hehe..