sOoO lOnG~

Haiz~ Today wun be able to meet my best fren again cuz she got sth on at e very last min.. It has been soooooo long since I last saw her.. I guessed after I joined fp, only managed to meet her for a few times.. Sad ar~ There's so much things tat I wana tell her, as well as hear her gossips.. Hahaha..

Dead tired fr work, but dun think it's bcuz of work only.. It's mentally tired tat caused physical tiredness ba.. Sianz ar~ How I wish I can take a long break.. Tat 3 days MC tat I had for last time made me have time to think abt alot of things.. n mayb tat's where n when I changed my perspective n perception abt alot of things.. Those 3 days reli make me think --- abt work, family & friends.. Work was my priority when I first joined fp till e day I gotten e MC, but durin e period tat I was sick, I discovered at e very end of e day, wat brings u e greatest satisfaction is ur friends, not ur work.. Wat I reli do is to cherish e friends ard me, who r alive n kickin, I dun wan to wait till e day tat they leave me, n I....? Life is so unpredictable, though u may meet many ppl along ur journey of life, but they will leave an inerasable footprint in it.. Mayb u see them today, but at any pt of time they may jus leave u suddenly..

Tat's when I started to view friends as my greatest priority again jus like e days where I haven started workin, bcuz without them, I wun be wat I am today.. Sth tat happened in e past made me realised tat fame, wealth n status will not make me a happy person, but simplicity will, a state of life tat I had been doin so after my darkest period.. "See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil".. But it's strange tat even though u craved for a simple life, ppl ard u will stil tat u r pretending or jus say say only, how can a person be simple in such a realistic society? Haha.. If they have been thru wat I went thru, mayb they'll be able to understand y I felt tat..

This reminded me of yest mtg with Mr. Tey n fellow TLs, he mentioned sth like "手心是肉，手背也是肉".. No matter which side we pinch, we will stil feel e pain.. He wanted us to work together as a team, irregardless to whether we like each other anot (??), cuz our common goal is to push up e branch profit n increase sales.. Basically I think he can see tat there r some form of politics tat is existin in the branch now, but wat can he do? There's so much of things tat he need to handle, he cant be possibly tryin to solve such politics every now n den.. For me, probably I got e same mindset as Jiawen, or bcuz I saw too many things tat happened ard me, I kind of have a heck care attitude liao.. I hate politics, n it'll be best I dun get involved in it at all.. As usual, one ear in, one ear out after hearing anythin.. Aiya, they wana fight, go n fight la, jus keep me out of it.. Let me be an ordinary person n happily finish my 2 yr promise in fp tat I had set for myself b4 movin on to another stage of my life.. Haha..

Sayin abt my 2 yr promise, I wondered will I be able to keep my promise till e end of it anot? I r'bered tat when I went for e fp interview so long ago, they asked me how long do I wish to climb up to e next level? I said 2 yrs, cuz I reli duno how will fp be like, n I reli jus wan to do sth different fr wat I studied, but in the end, I ended up doin sth similar, sth related to marketing, sth I reli dun like to do.. If I have a choice, how I wished tat I'm not e marketer, so tat I can reli concentrate on other things, like reli get to noe more abt Haba & GMS things, n oso I need not have to eat up my own personal time doin e things at home.. But now, I lost interest in practically anythin.. I regretted for not concentratin in Haba n GMS in the first place, now tat I lost heart in it.. The moment I wan to get involved, I'll be called upon to do other things.. n when I go n spend my time doin other things, den I get nagged for not neglectin Haba n not knowin GMS.. If I was the me 3 mths ago, mayb I'll stil go an extra mile to do things, but now, everything reli doesnt matter to me anymore, I jus wan to do wat I should do n spend my time on something worthwhile (not tat I'm sayin tat work doesnt worth my time to do)..

Some of them said tat how can I be tat heck care n unfeeling? Not tat I'm unfeelin, jus tat this series of events made me realised alot of things n indirectly forced to grow up rapidly again.. Mayb I'm not cut out for this line ba, I'm jus too soft n I dun wish to be firm.. Wat someone say some days ago left me thinkin, tat I'm a gd listener, n oso a person to vent ur frustrations n anger on, cuz I always seemed to have no temper at all.. n if I'm not in this line, mayb I can be a counsellor/volunteer or sth like tat ba.. Haha.. I'm not tat gd as ppl think la, I oso got my own temper too, jus tat most of them din get to see it only.. Eh, I dun like ppl to beat ard e bush or "e boy who cried wolf" type, especially when I'm helpin someone.. I stil r'bered tat I got so fed up at a fren 2 consecutive days over sth, but actually it was my fault la.. My anger will nv exceed 20 mins wan la, but sometimes I'll keep gloatin over it..

Seemed like this is a very long blog, jus like my title... Haha.. Some philosophies of mine tat I had developed over e past 2 mths (by e way, I like to develop alot of San's philosophies)..

18 Oct: "Carryin a torch is nth; Swithin it on is sth; Turnin it off is endin"
23 Oct: "Three things I can't live without - Friends, Colors & Music.. The rest I can forgo.."
26 Nov: "Life isnt perfect, so grab hold of every single day tat u can have with e ppl ard u, cuz who noes, they might leave u anytime.."
2 Dec: "In life, always r'ber e beautiful things tat u had done, e lovely frens tat u had made, e wonderful things tat u had said -- which might have oredi changed a person's life.. Always look forward to wat u can do n not keep on holdin to e regrets tat u had.."

"Always Look on e Bright Side of Life" -- like wat me n my grp of frens had always did.. *Smile*