First visit..

Yest was a "frightful" day....bcuz Apple came to my house for the very first time.. I couldn't slp well the previous nite cuz I was filled with alot of emotions..unhappiness (he din inform me earlier), anxiety (my house is in a mess), nervousness (no guy had ever come to my house), surprise (din expect him to come) & so on..

I was slightly distracted at work cuz I duno how tings wil go on.. but glad to say tat it's over.. Apple only met my mom cuz he came at a very late timing, so my dad and bro were asleep by then.. Can say that they r slightly unhappy abt him coming at this timing, but overall, tink my mom din say much abt him cuz she said ultimately, the choice left with me.. as long as he is sincere and we like each other, den they wun interfere much.. but my peers were worried tat i might get hurt (again) cuz they felt tat i seemed to have been giving in alot, and i may get cheated as i've very naive in such tings.. but they noe watever they said is no use, cuz at the end of the day, i wil give tat kind of answer tat they wan to vomit blood.. i only believe in myself.. even if i reli get hurt again (touchwood la..), i mustn't regret cuz i chose the path.. thus they can only tell me this, "must learn to love urself and protect urself.. come to us if u need a shoulder to lean on.."

Back to the topic.. i can vaguely remember my first visit to his house in late 2006 (such a pity tat i din note down the date).. can say i was being cheated to go, but oso cant say tat, cuz i went in willingly.. stil can remember wat happened tat day.. as usual, i met up with him near his house (there's a shoppin centre there), when he said tat he wana go up his house to take sth and his nephews are ard (tat was the 1st time i met his sis' family).. when we went up, i was kinda shy to go in cuz i nv went to a guy house b4 except goin to 77's house once.. his whole family were around unlike tat time i went to 77's house.. I felt very weird, but duno how to say.. his mom asked whether we had dinner, i said i had eaten abit, but she stil invited me to stay for dinner, den i....oblivious of anythin, jus say ok lor.. (abit stupid/naive, rite?)

I could felt the weird and tense atmosphere bcuz i had nv sat beside a guy for dinner, as in only the both of us.. n oso the presence of eyes lookin at us.. haha.. (mayb i tink too much..) the shy-est day in 2006 (bcuz i had more of such days in the later yrs..) we went walk walk after dinner..

I din take the first visit as a different meaning bcuz i had always tot it's normal to bring a fren of an opposite gender home (thou i hv never done so).. it was until my frens got to noe abt me, den told me the meaning of it.. and i was like, "huh, like tat meh..? reli ar..? but impossible leh.. u sure..?" --- the silly side of me, which ppl felt tat it's cute.. (???)

end of my frightful experience.. tink there are more to come.. haha.. watch out for my updates..

Temptations~

Was on my way to meet Apple yest wen Toh msg-ed me.. I've deleted the sms-es, but I can vaguely remembers wat he msged me.. He was sayin tat he want to hold the girl's hand yet he cant, he felt so restless and sick.. Facin this kind of situation, I was kinda duno wat to advise him cuz his case is special one..

(Based on wat I know) Toh got to know this particular girl many years back while working together, and it was in the recent yrs that they get to know each other more after Toh left the company.. I was happy to hear that he found another girl he liked after so many years of singlehood, and they somehow have the same interests and hobbies, which is great.. Slightly more than a week ago, Toh finally plucked up his courage to tell the girl he liked her, and the girl din reject, but here comes the issue.. Due to their religion, they have the same habit to go to temple and pray occasionally, thus they have also asked the deities for advice on tis area, and the answer tat the girl got was, not to start a relationship early, I guessed Toh got a similar answer from his side too, which I am not very sure.. Toh got so troubled over this, but I was not able to advise on this..

When he told me he wanted to hold her hand yest, I tot he was sayin tat he dun dare, so I was listing out my example abt me n apple, cuz I oso dun dare to hold his hands after so long.. Until Toh said that he dare, jus tat he cant bcuz of the girl, he felt so lost n the temptation is there.. I can only tell him to be patient, cuz it might be a test tat he has to overcome, telling him to jiayou and persevere, as his wait might be paid off one day.. cant rush, cuz it might become worse..

Back to my part on temptations.. there's alot of temptations yest while I'm out with Apple.. Haha.. I had made a small wish last Christmas, tat is to be able to hold Apple's hands, but too bad I stil dun have the courage to do so.. Since Christmas is over, I just shrugged it away.. but the temptation is there again.. duno y, the feel is there, and it grew stronger as time goes by, but I din do so again.. The worse (best?) part is when we were at the video shop, tat one even more jialat.. there were times tat our faces r quite close to one another, and I actually got the tempation to **** his face.. oh my.. my mind is reli goin abit bonkers at tat pt of time, but lucky I walked away to divert my attention.. haha..

Yest was another eventful and contented day.. Hehe.. Actually like tat oso not bad.. take time for the ting (relationship) to mature gradually, which I tink it will help alot for anything in future..

Last Nite..

went for a super ex buffet dinner with aloy n norman last nite.. was talkin to aloy below my block on some issues after tat.. den duno y we moved to bgr issues again.. i guessed he was caught in a situation whereby he doesnt noe wat's going on.. wil not elaborate his situation, cuz it's his personal life.. but i will touch on the part where i gave my pt on view which i felt i suddenly grew matured..

how to determine the one u like..? u may feel attached (attracted) to many gals around u, bcuz they all seemed to be the ones u like, but ultimately how do u decide she is the one u wil like to pursue..? this is where the definition come.. love is a feeling which is unexplainable, whereby no words can explain how love is.. the person u most wanted to protect/to care for, is the person tat is deep in ur heart.. i heard him sayin out the name wen i finished this sentence, n i knew it.. haha..

actually i oso duno y i said tat to him, but after sayin, it reminded me of apple again (i shall not elaborate here..) i was tellin him tat if he reli likes a person, he should continue his efforts n dun give up like this.. but the choice wil stil lies with him..