Apple-ness = dear-ness

was sticking with apple for almost half a day at his house, doing nth much, but today was another memorable day that i felt i should blog it down.. let me think, how shall i start my topic..?

was helpin apple to tidy up his stuffs and tried my luck in sewing his pants for the first time.. hope i din do it too badly.. hehe.. den i continued to stay in his room as we were quite full from wat we had during tea-time.. i was tinkin of seein his photographs when he said tat he will let me see some of the photographs of his ex-girlfriend..

Hmm.. his ex looked abit like malay, almost the same build as him and they looked very compatible in the photos.. From the photos, i could sense the love and the amt of efforts that he had put in.. am i exaggerating? of cuz not.. wat abt being jealous? nah..i'm not tat childish to be jealous of his past.. But i was once envious abt her, bcuz of the love that she had from apple during the few yrs tat they were together (when i was stil gd frens with apple, and heard him sayin little bit of her occasionally)..

actually it's very consoling to me tat he had opened up his heart to talk abt his ex wen i was asking questions abt her jus now.. and also i finally noe the name of his ex (i dare not ask in the past ma..) but there was one ting tat i mentioned was tat he shld not hv any kind of thinkin tat he wan to let his ex noe tat he is living very well w/o her or wan to show off sth to her, for tat kind of action will only tells one ting - either u r childish or u jus cant get over the whole ting and it will only affect those who are jus beside u..

continue on, i was sharing my (or rather our) love story with him, telling him i felt tat we are fated to meet/be together as there were so many coincidences and similarities tat we had.. he gave me alot of surprises from the day we met, sending me hm, askin me to send him msg wen i got hm, havin common likin for food and sharin similar thinkin.. all these bits and pieces jus made me realised tat i had found my perfect match..

I was tellin him abt my short stint with 77 again, someone who have the height and build that I am lookin for (dream guy), but later on realised tat dream guy is not equal to the man of my choice.. Ya, at tat pt of time, being able to be hugged by someone who was taller and stouter than me is a comfort, despite feeling sth was not right.. the feeling was never right from the beginning till the end, yet i told myself tat might be bcuz it was my first r'ship, thus it was natural for me to feel tat way.. thou tat r'ship left me with a phobia for guys, i told myself tat i was lucky tat i din commit further, if not i will reli regret doin sth esp wen i was havin the wrong feeling..

apple's existence reli made my life turned upside down.. i din noe tat he was interested in me, cuz he was full of anguish wen i asked abt his ex at tat pt of time.. and the best part was, i belonged to those silly/blur blur type, dun even noe how to figure out the hidden messages tat he had been sending out (and he was patient enough to make me understand).. ask ppl, ppl tell me this kind of guy is playin with my feelings or takin me for granted (heng ar~ i din listen to their words, or else i wun hv my apple now..)

went thru a few rollercoaster rides within myself for the 9 mths me and apple had been together (bcuz scared of history repeating), but now it had always been a clear blue sky for us.. Found the man of my choice and Mr. Right.. he cleared all the negative tings tat i had from the past exp, and inputted with all the positive tings.. the greatest ting was i lost my phobia for guys totally and he coloured my world with love.. he made me feel so proud/honoured wen he brought me to his gatherings and me bringing him to know my cliques of frens.. the love is not one-sided and his presence had never failed in making me so happy (stil sinkin in loads of happiness + blissfulness).. happy seein/hearin him slp.. happy holdin his hands.. happy being kissed.. happy leaning on his arms.. happy hearin his voice.. happy being felt treasured/protected.. happy being maria or "little woman" for him..

as i had told my peers recently, we are a happy couple now.. and i had given my promise in a form of IOU, to stick to him like a superglue until he get sick of me.. hehe.. it felt reli great to stick to him, and he doesnt mind (i tink so).. but in terms of gettin married, i wil only say let nature takes its course, bcuz it's beta not to start havin expectations as it might strain the r'ship.. wait till he is comfortable with it, den we proceed on to the next stage of life.. dun marry bcuz ppl wans u to marry; marry only wen u r ready to do so..

heard this song in his car today, and found it to be quite relevant..

信乐团 - 因为有你

作词: 信乐团 作曲: Keith Stuart

woh! 我的世界从此停止了寻觅

woh! 我的世界从此多了点担心

我听到海的呼吸 我听到你甜蜜的怀疑

我掉入一个陷阱 我愿意 不想逃离

没有太多的剧情 只相信一瞬间的感应

真心结束了游戏 想问你 愿不愿意

我知道你全部的犹豫

我曾经也认不出自己从未忘记

今生和你的约定

woh! 我的世界从此停止了寻觅
woh! 我的世界从此多了点担心

因为有你 因为有你

(不再犹豫 因为有你)

我用尽所有的力气 再苦也能继续

你的笑给了我勇气 我会永远珍惜