wrong timing

cant reli say i am counting down to the days i am leavin.. cuz it jus felt so sad to do so.. i will miss my lovable managers and colleagues.. for once, i felt tat i have made a 'disasterous' mistake..

today the new gal (replacin me) reported to work, and i ended up sitting at kum's desk cuz she's on course this wk, and oso bcuz it was toooo cramped.. imagined my cubi is so small.. whole morning was briefin her abt 30% of the work, and didnt manage to do any ting regarding TH. and spent the whole afternoon meeting without a sip of water.. nearly died of thirst..

and wen it is only left with 2 wks to go, sth pop up and the need of money is there.. and the first thought is can i stay until end july to get my bonus? i knew the answer is NO, bcuz wen cm tried to persuade me to stay, i gave him a firm NO. i have oredi gave up the oppt, not once but many times wen ppl asked me whether do i reli wan to leave? at tat pt of time, i jus felt like leavin so badly cuz i reli cant see any light.. it's so stressed to noe tat bro is sittin at hm for mths without a job, yet i am workin and studyin at the same time.. it's only after the exams den i felt a sigh of relief tat one big burden is down.. but news abt apple's possible laidoff is spreading.. and sth else.. i tot i could take a slower pace in findin a PT job and live by my savings.. but at this sudden moment i cant..

what am i going to do? spoke to kum jus now, i knew her answer and my answer are the same.. i had lost the golden oppt.. today is reli a bad day.. nth is goin my way.. wat's goin on? wat did i do wrong..? shld i put down my pride to approach cm again and tell him my request? but the new gal is here.. no budget for me to stay... and no projects tat can help me to extend my stay.. oh gosh..