Insecurity..?

duno wat came over me, i sms apple lots of serious stuffs.. mayb been hearin too much of "rubbish" recently.. but to tink of it clearly now, i guessed this is due to the insecurity that I have in myself.. mayb i tink too deep in some tings and being too pessimistic in such tings.. i only can say tat i'm afraid to lose the good tings, and tend to tink of the bad side.. like wat if all these are jus dreams and fantasies to me..?

can say tat i am stil in the mood of happy-ness til now, but being a pessimist, wen a person climbs higher, the harder the person wil fall wen he loses his grip (the higher the hopes are, the greater the disappointment wil be).. and this sentence did somehow came true in my life before, thus i've learnt to change my perspective now.. wen me and apple were stil an unknown pair, there were times tat he mentioned to meet, but in the end he had forgotten, and i was kinda unhappy abt it bcuz i waited the whole day long for his msg.. this made me felt very confused abt his feelings towards me (tat was b4 i asked him "you like me ar..?), so i was scared too.. okok, i admitted tat i did get angry the third time, but tat was where i finally understand tat i pinned too high hopes on tings..

the next day after i got up, i realised tat i shouldnt get angry over so minor tings.. bcuz i was oso at fault for not re-confirming the meetings the day before and assumed that he would remember all the meetings.. all ppl have different priorities, i cant be askin him to put me as his first priority when i was not even his gf back then..? tat was where i started to take this kind of things lighter, whereby i told myself tat mayb i shouldnt hv expectations for tings, den i wun hv disappointments.. hehe.. thus i am treatin every meetin as first date, cuz like tat wun expect too high ma..

but in last nite's msg, i did told him tat he got put me aeroplane b4, but i jus let it off liao, cuz i noe no pt grudgin over it.. but stil hope there wun be anymore aeroplane again.. haha..

after a thorough tinkin last nite, i guess my insecurity wil be gone soon, cuz i had sorted my thoughts out liao.. tat is - where is there to scare of? what will happen, will happen; what wun happen, no pt tinkin so much.. wat i should worry now is not insecurity, but is on how to be a good gf, cuz i duno am i being one now.. hehe.. but it reli feels great to hv someone to "bully", as in u can share ur everything with him.. tat's the gd part of being in a r'ship..

I believe the road down for us will be a long one, as long as we r truthful and open to one another, and to complement on each other strengths and weaknesses.. hope he wun mind me being too sticky too him.. haha..