羅志祥 搞笑MV

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rwy8elgKUo

那一條牙膏 在對我傻笑
嘲笑我永遠用不掉
想睡就睡 想鬧就鬧
好快樂少了人嘮叨

藍色的碗盤 多買了一套
我忘了沒有人陪我通宵
要多少替代的丑角 無辜的陪笑
才會讓我能真的忘了你的好

我在搞笑 藉著熱鬧 掩蓋著心跳
邊哭邊笑 偏要說著一個人真好
當人群散了 突然覺得我可以死掉
我受不了

還在搞笑 害怕回家 不知怎麼熬
這麼多年 早就習慣 有妳的撒嬌
我想我能熬 但是至少要讓我知道
妳好不好

我們的小狗 食量變好小
眼神裡常常顯的無聊
他習慣睡覺的床位 少了一雙腳
所以他常常看著門口睡不著

我在搞笑 藉著熱鬧 掩蓋著心跳
邊哭邊笑 偏要說著一個人真好
當人群散了 突然覺得我可以死掉
我受不了

我在搞笑 卻在最後 眼淚拼命掉
妳的離開 失去多少 我計算不了
忙完了一天　突然覺得又何必辛勞
對誰炫耀

還在搞笑 是否擁有 麻痺的療效
唱一夜歌 卻避不開 催淚的曲調
我徹夜胡鬧 希望聽到有人會提到 你好不好

Early hours of Christmas...

谢谢你为我做的一切，一直守护着我，陪伴在我身边。。。
我喜欢你。我爱你。圣诞节快乐。

*as said by apple

Stealing Hearts..

Jus came back from a "rendevous" with apple again.. hehe.. was down with flu, and i guess lovesick too, cuz supposed to meet him on wed, yet i fell sick on tat day..

was chattin with him over the msn yest, and as usual, we were kind of fooling ard again.. haha.. den he "accused" me of a pirate, and i was like huh??!! but upon seein his reply, i jus felt very consoled.. he "accused" me of stealin his heart.. hmm.. till now it stil feels great to hear this.. bcuz i had stole his heart.. talkin rubbish again.. hehe.. jus duno how to describe it la..

actually he did the same to me.. unknowingly, he jus made me got attracted to him gradually and now fallin in love with him.. hehe.. still savourin every bit of our r'ship, bcuz all these doesnt come easy.. there are so many "what if" tat wouldnt make us got together.. wun elaborate all here.. everytime i see him on his face, it jus keeps me reminded that all these are true, and i must cherish this guy who i am admiring..

sidetrack abit.. i had a small lump jus under my left eyelid and the doc said tat i would need a minor surgery to remove it.. though it might be a minor surgery, but eye leh.. of cuz will stil be scared and worried.. initially i was tinkin to tell apple after the trip, cuz dun wan to spoil the mood ma, but din cant tahan to hide the truth from him.. can sense tat he was slightly taken aback, but he told me not to worry, he will be right beside me.. though it is jus words, but it is very encouraging to hear it, esp from someone you love.. jus pray hard tat it wun grow anymore..

Sunday Adventure

feeling abit sick now - flu + itchy all over again (cant remember i got eat anythin tat irritate me leh..)

anyway, jus wana blog abit abt the past 2 weeks.. den i can go to dreamland..

recently gotten a new name from apple - mo mo princess.. quite like the term, cuz i tend to mo here and there nowadays (same as apple).. hehe.. so if i am the momo princess, den apple naturally became momo prince.. hmm.. ya hor.. apple cant be considered my white horse prince.. he is quite fair and sometimes drives a white car, den he's my bf.. tat makes him a prince too.. hehe..

ok, enough of my nonsense.. let me start another round of nonsense again.. hehe..

was with apple and his family yest to celebrate his nephews' bday at their paternal grandparents' house.. but b4 tat, the series of events were quite tensed.. apple was annoyed by a white car b4 he came to meet me at the mrt station - he looked pissed (so i kept quiet lor..) den i accidentally stepped/kicked his toenails twice - can see he was pissed again (i felt so bad..) next, a lady jus boarded a taxi in the middle of the road, blocking part of the road and cars were jus behind it.. apple made a "quite" dangerous move and managed to drive his way thru, but he was "nagged" by his parents for his move.. and me..? of cuz quiet again la, cuz too shocked to speak anythin (i'm sittin right beside him leh..) scary man.. i ltr jokingly told him tat it's a gd way to keep my mouth shut..

it was quite a nice house thou it was of many yrs.. spacious and view not bad - i guess bcuz it was located in a high floor (tat's the gd ting for living high) there were many ppl so as usual, i was stickin to apple again.. jus duno y, me tend to stick with ppl wen seein ppl tat i dun reli noe.. and i saw sth tat i liked besides apple - a piano set.. i was tellin apple tat i got 2 small regrets since i was young - not able to learn ballet and piano as it was costly.. i was born with soft bone structure and has an ability of figurin out a tune without prior practising.. but all these were in the past, i cant be blaming anyone on tat ma.. though i din get to learn all these tings, i told myself i shld be grateful or contented with my life.. bcuz if i had learnt all those tings, i might be a different person, and maybe i wouldnt have met the ppl tat i had met all these yrs.. those ppl might be of a better brood, but wil i be contented and optimistic as now..? i duno..

anyway, too lengthy again.. need to fast forward liao.. reminds me of a game tat apple likes to play on me.. play...stop...rewind... haha.. ok, back to the pt.. kids nowadays are far too fortunate liao.. they hv so many toys/games/presents tat they stil tink it is insufficient.. unlike us in the olden days, where got so many presents to unwrap and good bday cake to blow..? wen i see them blowing the candles, suddenly felt so envious.. it had been yrs since i blew a bday candle bcuz my bday always fall in lunar 7th mth, though my real bday was in lunar 8th mth (a kind of pantang by chinese la tat it is not gd to celebrate bday in 7th mth, neither can we blow candles..)

fast forward again.. we watched some video clips where it consisted of the two boys, the trips tat apple and his family went and others.. oh~ hong kong is so nice.. how i wished i got to sit in the hotair balloon too.. haiz.. back to reality.. we sent apple's parents home first cuz they were tired, den he drew me back.. and i finally found out sth tat i felt so proud of it.. i never knew apple was in the commando wen he was in army.. he always told me tat he was a clerk, and i believed it though i felt it weird tat a clerk can go travellin to so many various countries.. (wat a fortunate clerk).. and i duno y, jus feel very proud suddenly.. i'm a commando's gf leh.. *dreaming again* hmm, mayb bcuz commando gives ppl the thinkin tat they are the best or elite of the rest of the army, and the training were super duper siong.. those who are chosen means they had underwent alot of hardship and training, which trained them to be a "real man".. haha.. ok, i noe i am daydreamin again.. and mayb being too naive or simple-minded again..

end of my story, cant remember all tat i wana blog, jus the highlights wil do.. ciaoz~

disappointed + sad

my 1st thailand trip is gone.. bcuz of the situation in bangkok currently.. so sad.. nv been to thailand b4, moreover it's with apple's family.. though apple got say go cruise, but duno wen wil it be liao.. and oso the whole experience would be different.. kinda speechless now.. mayb bcuz i'm filled with alot of emotions ba.. haiz..

Thank You Dinner

jus came back from a thank you cum gatherin dinner of apple's fren, cuz he helped out in the weddin 2 weeks ago..

stil abit sinkin in the fantasy cum dreamin mode, mayb bcuz i'm tired too.. i was abt to fall aslp in apple's car when he was drivin me home.. the position of the seat and the aircon jus made me super relunctant to step out of the car.. for tat moment, how i wished the ride could be longer..

back to the topic, this grp of ppl are very sociable and cheerful so i reli felt comfortable mixing with them, even though i duno them well.. interesting and fun grp.. reli need to know more of this kind of ppl.. hehe..

time to go for my sleep and see whether can dream of apple anot.. gd nitez!

sour.sweet.bitter.spicy

these are the tastes that most couples will go thru at different stages of their r'ships or lives..

sour represents the sourness such as jealousy or wen you are faced with a dilemma
sweet represents the sweetness and usually the honeymoon period of a r'ship
bitter represents the bitterness where you dun say/do wat u wan
spicy represents the quarrels and misunderstandings

was on the phone with apple tat day wen he mentioned these 4 tastes, where we are now at the sweet part bcuz we are still honeymoon period of the r'ship.. but he oso mentioned tat we will somehow go thru the rest of the tastes when the times comes, which i dun wish those times to come..

mayb i'm jus being too naive/simple-minded again..? bcuz no r'ship will always be sweet without any quarrels, even if got, it's jus one of the few of the super loving couples.. but i am stubborn and only believed in my own guts feelings at times.. as long as the sweetness is there, i will preserve and cherish the feeling for as long as i can, bcuz i wun know when will the other tastes start to kick in.. for every 1 day of sweetness, it may overrides months of sour/bitter/spicy.. happy oso one day, not happy oso one day, y not happy happy get over one day..? (am i too optimistic again..?)

suddenly reminded of the question tat apple always liked to ask me, "am i bored to be with..?" usually i wil say no or jus smile smile.. frankly speakin, sometimes yes la, esp wen there was a period where we always hang out at either jur pt or his hse.. tat was where i started to hint and suggest some other places ard his places cuz i noe he doesnt like to travel far, bcuz he doesnt like to like to go to places that are very crowded.. but recently i realised tat this qn doesnt apply to me much liao.. mayb i had oredi gotten use and adapted to this momentum gradually liao.. sometimes it doesnt matter tat much to where u go, wat reli matters is who are u being with.. jus like i am gettin so used to follow where apple is, jus like a superglue..

but.. i stil got some of the tings that i wana do or places tat i wana bring my bf to, and that was wat i decided long before i got into a r'ship.. but mostly romantic tings la, such as:
- bringing him for a full body and foot massage (done)
- go sit on singapore flyer (going soon)
- go to the rooftop of vivocity (beautiful xmas tree is there now!!)
- clarke quay at nite (wonderful and romantic scenery)
- goin to orchard to see the xmas lightup
- a nite's out to see the stars and moon
- enjoyin the breeze at esplanade/merlion
and more.. will add on wen i remember..

15 nov 08, saturday

duno wat to put as title, so jus put the date lor.. hehe..

jus came back from a date with apple again, but felt tat i shld blog this while my memory is stil fresh..

but b4 i start, let me jus briefly describe my timeline of adventure:

morning: went to collect the free laptop skin at toa payoh

noon: meet him at simei to pick me up and have lunch with his dad. went to download and copy pictures from his pc. take a short rest at his room.

evening: went to jur pt to walk walk. went back for dinner and abit of stoning. den he sent me home.

now comes the elaboration.. will pick out the part where we were resting.. he has the habit of takin a short nap durin afternoon, so i accompanied to rest too.. i usually dun hv the habit of takin afternoon nap, thus it will be quite difficult for me to fall aslp.. but i was abt to doze off too when the sound in the living room somehow woke me up, so in the end i decided to see him slp.. this was the first time tat i get to see him slp at such a close distance, so the feeling jus feel great again.. jus like seeing him slp like a little boy, esp wen he is sound aslp.. was adjusting my position over and over again, so tat i can see him at the closest distance.. abit boliao rite..? hehe..

here comes the main point.. though he did say "i love you" before, but everytime i jus din get it or he always said it in a mixture of words that made me so confused abt it.. but today i reli heard it straight and directly from his mouth, without any confusion.. it jus happened wen we were in his room, seein his nephews playin the tv game, and he jus whispered into my ears the words.. first reaction of cuz stunned, followed by delightness.. no more "i like you many many liao..", it had crossed to the next level.. hehe.. am i being too simple-minded again..? aiya, who cares.. i happy can liao.. haha..

and finally i have photos of us together in soft copy, will upload the favorites soon.. hehe..

diamonds - women's best friends?

tink drank too much coffee in the mornin, so now still cant get to slp..

went outside to study today, and 顺便 take a look at apple (actually more than an hour la).. hehe.. happy..

was passin by a jewellery shop wen he was sendin me to the mrt station, and he took a glance at some of the items.. at first look, i thought it was diamond, but he said it's not cuz diamonds cant be tat cheap.. this brings me back to sth tat most ppl are sayin.. "diamonds are women's best friend"..

this sentence doesnt work for me.. wat's so great abt diamonds..? it's jus a sparkling stone that cost a bomb.. okok.. it may be one of the hardest and precious stones in the whole wide world, but i am stil not convinced of owning one of it.. jus find it a hindrance to wear such tings on finger.. imagine sth protruding out and ur heart wil ache alot wen u accidentally knock ur finger against some things? if not, some ppl will jus keep the diamond at hm, and admire it when they are free (den wat the use of buyin it wen u cant wear it out..?) and moreover, i wonder does the value of diamond will increase over time? if yes, mayb jus buy to keep it as an investment lor, so tat can sell away wen i am broke.. if not, it is just a normal stone lor.. haiz..

suddenly recalled one of my frens was boasting abt the diamond ring tat her bf bought her yrs ago - how big the diamond was and how much was it.. and measured it against the love from her bf.. (alamak, how can measure love like tat one..?) love shld never be measured with the monetary value, instead of the importance/significance of the other party (like that den is the real value of love ma..) haiz.. nowadays, ppl are getting more and more shallow or materialistic, they only see money.. "i dun wan u if u got no money.." true la, money is one of the impt tings tat give u some form of security, but some ppl dun hv money, oso lived happily ever after ma.. jus try to save more money and be thrifty lor.. at most dun buy expensive tings or replaced them with cheaper items.. life can stil go on ma.. haiz.. reli dun understand the mindset of ppl now.. i talk so much, scarli i'm one of the shallow and materialistic person too.. hehe..

anyway, back to the diamond ting.. if reli wan to say "diamonds are women's best friend", den i oso got a diamond ar.. a very big one, it is non-transferable and not for sale.. an APPLE-diamond.. super duper valuable wor.. and i oso can haolian abt it almost everyday, 24/7.. haha.. best part is, he can talk/make me laugh/let me lean on and hold my hands.. hehe..

mus continue to admire my apple-diamond more often, occasionally polish him until shiny and sparkling (make him handsome and stil handsome), bring him out to have some sun, then he will grow in value more..wahaha..

Nice Video by KOH+ - Kiss Shite~

This music video is from the Japan drama, Galileo.. quite like the song and the lyrics.. so thought of sharing it out.. hehe..

i have a very handsome apple..

i told myself tat i die die muz write this entry, but was too tired to do so yest nite.. so i ended up zZzZzz..

okok.. this entry is to "haolian" how handsome my apple was, at his fren's wedding yest.. hehe..

let me recount the whole incident, bit by bit..

i was kinda excited abt yest's weddin, bcuz firstly it was his fren's wedding where he's the head brother, and also bcuz i was there as his gf too.. that was my 2nd time going for such function with him (the prev time was his company dinner).. i bought a simple top to go with jeans, put on abit of makeup, and got to wear the accessories tat my fren gave me (hope i din look too bad yest, cuz he got say i looked pretty.. hehe.. happy..)

backtrack abit.. i went with him to buy a jacket for the weddin a few days back, and wen he came out of the changin room, i was abit stunned.. he looked very smart in tat outfit, and i was so heng to get him the right sizes to try on.. tat was the first time i saw him so formal lookin.. handsome sia~ (saliva drooling..) totally different from his usual look, which can be very casual or lok cok as he described..

back to yest.. i went to meet him at abt 5pm, bringin a bottle of homemade lemon tea (& was very glad to hear from his frens tat it was nice).. hehe.. he was under the table, tryin to fix the plug into the socket, and wen he stood up, i see him, he see me, we see each other, and i was tellin myself repeatedly - he looked reli handsome in his attire (white shirt, black pants and his leather shoes).. and he got put gel on his hair wor..

to cut short everything, i shall not touch on the details and jus described the highlights of the event.. hehe.. throughout the dinner, i was lookin at him over & over again, my eyes were followin him wherever he goes.. jus cant resist tat temptation to look at him, (i guess the nature of the event and ambience was jus right to bring out his handsome-ness too).. i've been repeatin the same sentence (u r v.handsome today) to him tat i felt abit paiseh, but jus cant stop leh.. esp when he put on the whole set (with tie and jacket), he looked like a successful businessman.. and the jacket oso helped to complement/bring out his build - he got broad shoulders that he reli looked very nice in it (V-shaped)..

during the dinner, whenever our hands are not busy with something such as eatin or clappin hands, we will tend to play with our fingers.. gettin used to such actions ever since we are together.. hehe.. it jus feel comfortable or at ease holdin his hands..

after the dinner, he actually wanted to "tour" ard the area nearby, but we only managed to go to the lobby to take a seat bcuz the carpark was full of cars exiting.. as usual, me was starin at him again, bcuz jus find him too handsome.. oh my gosh, how many times i'm goin to repeat this.. he reli drove me gaga/crazy over him yest, tat i jus cant stop havin the images of him in tat suit even after i got home.. haha..

this is the end of yest endeavor, now i shall touch on some serious stuffs.. thru some of my entries, esp this one, u might think tat apple is a very handsome chap, but actually he is jus a normal average-lookin boy (note to apple: dun get too disappointed with my description k?).. he doesnt belonged to those photogenic type, and some might described him as "too matured-lookin for his age", but "情人眼里出西施" or "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder", he is reli tat handsome and charming in my eyes and i am very proud of it to repeat tat over and over again..

there are oso some tings tat i was quite surprised tat he actually did it, or rather i'm too suah-gu (mountain turtle).. he actually helped me take my shoes yest.. and on other occasions, he helped me wear a pair of shoes too.. all those tings nv crossed my mind, as to wat a bf shld do.. which makes him quite sweet in this aspect, bcuz it is jus like him - express himself thru actions rather than words..

tat day he mentioned tat his ex was an independent gal, which i did a little tinkin abt it.. does he liked independent gals? bcuz i seemed to be stickin to him like a superglue, followin his footsteps wenever he goes.. din reli asked whether he mind i stick to him so much anot, but reli hoped tat he dun mind.. i was tinkin, if i were to be as independent as my work persona, the likin for him might not be as much as now, cuz i definitely wun be puttin him as one of my priorities, which can be a good or bad ting..

haiz.. beta dun tink too deep abt it, if not i wil end up makin myself to be similar to his ex.. he liked me for wat i am, so i shldnt make myself to look like someone whom once hurt him so deeply.. anyway, i stil prefer to be the "little woman - 小女人", being the silly and dumb self of me in front of him.. to tink of it, maria's life isnt tat bad la, at least she noes tat she is serving the one she loves and in return, her sir oso treats her quite well in caring and protecting her..

"oh my, apple is reli very handsome in tat suit.. how can i not be addicted or attracted to him..?" (repeating XXX times liao)

Apple-ness = dear-ness

was sticking with apple for almost half a day at his house, doing nth much, but today was another memorable day that i felt i should blog it down.. let me think, how shall i start my topic..?

was helpin apple to tidy up his stuffs and tried my luck in sewing his pants for the first time.. hope i din do it too badly.. hehe.. den i continued to stay in his room as we were quite full from wat we had during tea-time.. i was tinkin of seein his photographs when he said tat he will let me see some of the photographs of his ex-girlfriend..

Hmm.. his ex looked abit like malay, almost the same build as him and they looked very compatible in the photos.. From the photos, i could sense the love and the amt of efforts that he had put in.. am i exaggerating? of cuz not.. wat abt being jealous? nah..i'm not tat childish to be jealous of his past.. But i was once envious abt her, bcuz of the love that she had from apple during the few yrs tat they were together (when i was stil gd frens with apple, and heard him sayin little bit of her occasionally)..

actually it's very consoling to me tat he had opened up his heart to talk abt his ex wen i was asking questions abt her jus now.. and also i finally noe the name of his ex (i dare not ask in the past ma..) but there was one ting tat i mentioned was tat he shld not hv any kind of thinkin tat he wan to let his ex noe tat he is living very well w/o her or wan to show off sth to her, for tat kind of action will only tells one ting - either u r childish or u jus cant get over the whole ting and it will only affect those who are jus beside u..

continue on, i was sharing my (or rather our) love story with him, telling him i felt tat we are fated to meet/be together as there were so many coincidences and similarities tat we had.. he gave me alot of surprises from the day we met, sending me hm, askin me to send him msg wen i got hm, havin common likin for food and sharin similar thinkin.. all these bits and pieces jus made me realised tat i had found my perfect match..

I was tellin him abt my short stint with 77 again, someone who have the height and build that I am lookin for (dream guy), but later on realised tat dream guy is not equal to the man of my choice.. Ya, at tat pt of time, being able to be hugged by someone who was taller and stouter than me is a comfort, despite feeling sth was not right.. the feeling was never right from the beginning till the end, yet i told myself tat might be bcuz it was my first r'ship, thus it was natural for me to feel tat way.. thou tat r'ship left me with a phobia for guys, i told myself tat i was lucky tat i din commit further, if not i will reli regret doin sth esp wen i was havin the wrong feeling..

apple's existence reli made my life turned upside down.. i din noe tat he was interested in me, cuz he was full of anguish wen i asked abt his ex at tat pt of time.. and the best part was, i belonged to those silly/blur blur type, dun even noe how to figure out the hidden messages tat he had been sending out (and he was patient enough to make me understand).. ask ppl, ppl tell me this kind of guy is playin with my feelings or takin me for granted (heng ar~ i din listen to their words, or else i wun hv my apple now..)

went thru a few rollercoaster rides within myself for the 9 mths me and apple had been together (bcuz scared of history repeating), but now it had always been a clear blue sky for us.. Found the man of my choice and Mr. Right.. he cleared all the negative tings tat i had from the past exp, and inputted with all the positive tings.. the greatest ting was i lost my phobia for guys totally and he coloured my world with love.. he made me feel so proud/honoured wen he brought me to his gatherings and me bringing him to know my cliques of frens.. the love is not one-sided and his presence had never failed in making me so happy (stil sinkin in loads of happiness + blissfulness).. happy seein/hearin him slp.. happy holdin his hands.. happy being kissed.. happy leaning on his arms.. happy hearin his voice.. happy being felt treasured/protected.. happy being maria or "little woman" for him..

as i had told my peers recently, we are a happy couple now.. and i had given my promise in a form of IOU, to stick to him like a superglue until he get sick of me.. hehe.. it felt reli great to stick to him, and he doesnt mind (i tink so).. but in terms of gettin married, i wil only say let nature takes its course, bcuz it's beta not to start havin expectations as it might strain the r'ship.. wait till he is comfortable with it, den we proceed on to the next stage of life.. dun marry bcuz ppl wans u to marry; marry only wen u r ready to do so..

heard this song in his car today, and found it to be quite relevant..

信乐团 - 因为有你

作词: 信乐团 作曲: Keith Stuart

woh! 我的世界从此停止了寻觅

woh! 我的世界从此多了点担心

我听到海的呼吸 我听到你甜蜜的怀疑

我掉入一个陷阱 我愿意 不想逃离

没有太多的剧情 只相信一瞬间的感应

真心结束了游戏 想问你 愿不愿意

我知道你全部的犹豫

我曾经也认不出自己从未忘记

今生和你的约定

woh! 我的世界从此停止了寻觅
woh! 我的世界从此多了点担心

因为有你 因为有你

(不再犹豫 因为有你)

我用尽所有的力气 再苦也能继续

你的笑给了我勇气 我会永远珍惜

airy-fairy words

had been seeing apple for 4 consecutive days, yet i still find it insufficient.. is it bcuz i'm startin to ask for more now? or bcuz i had heaved a big relief after submitting my final proj yest? or any other reasons..? watever it is, i wil try to figure out in times to come..

anyway, back to my topic.. as usual we were fooling ard at bugis when he mentioned some "thank you words".. haiz.. shld hv recorded it, cuz i cant remember much of wat he said.. it sounded very airy-fairy (well said words with no substance), but tat was the first time he actually said sth like tat.. cuz he always like to beat ard the bush, or he present his words thru action.. was surprised to hear those words, and was touched too.. i believed thou those words were airy-fairy, he meant wat he said.. oohh.. i must try to remember those words next time if he ever said it.. can slot it in my sweet memories bank ma.. hehe..

Sleeping Apple..

went to apple's house to try to do my proj, but i tink i din manage to do much in the end. hehe.. felt extremely happy to see him, and i could sense the same in him too.. as usual, we were behavin like kids again, fooling around.. haha.. and it felt reli gd to lean on him, especially when i am under some stress again.. so comfy.. when i dun lean on guys much..

while i am doin my proj, apple took a short nap, and tat was the first time i see him sleep.. zzZzZ.. sleeping so soundly as a little boy.. so cute.. haha.. duno y, or mayb bcuz i am in a r'ship, anythin abt the other party will look so great/nice to me.. must preserve this kind of feeling, as feelings will change over time.. no one can guarantee that i will still feel the same upon seeing apple sleep like that in another 10 or 20 yrs..? hehe..

Still sinking in the "in love" mood, where the thought of apple jus appears anytime anywhere i wan.. and i guess that's the main reason tat i kept having dreams abt us.. 日有所思、夜有所梦... beautiful dreams.. that i hope that will come true in times to come..

Phrase of the day: An apple a day, keeps the doctor and flies away..

happiness

dun feel like bloggin too long..

after months of getting together, i strongly believed that i had found my happiness, the happiness that comes from loving someone and being loved..

despite having so many differences between us, we are still copin well with them because no one is perfect/same, as long as both parties loved one another, nothing else should matter..

love is all abt givin and takin, it would be difficult if both parties are so bent/strong in their personalities, thus one party with the softer personality will have to give in to the stronger party..

at this stage, love between us is reli getting more beautiful though the routines do repeat at times, the emotions and feelings for each other had grew deeper.. even though both of us stil shy on sayin out "i love you" verbally..

but thru writin, i shall say it out aloud ~ I LOVE MY APPLE!!! someone who made me realise what is the happiness that i had been searchin for..

Apple's company dinner

Shangri-la Hotel. 8pm. International buffet.

First time I went to such dinner (non-formal, yet but so high-class).
First time I went to attend another company's dinner.
First time I went as apple's gf.
First time I wore tat top after so many years.
First time feeding a guy food in the large public (& oso being fed).

Another great and fantastic experience.

I guessed probably bcuz I belonged to the hyper sensitive type, every tiny and minor matter that happens will make me real happy or real sad.. But that's me..

shall continue my "affair" with apple..

These 2 months..

2 mths ago, it was apple's bday and though it din turn out totally as what i had planned, it was a memorable day bcuz i finally get to hug apple and we took a picture.. =)

soon after that, my school started and i thought things will be fine, but it turned out another way.. I have to put most of my concentration on studies, yet on the other hand, i misses and needed apple's presence badly as it was reli hard to cope with studies and work at the same time.. moreover, wen ppl are gettin more concerned abt us, the more i will get negative comments, esp wen apple is not the so-called typical/normal bf.. apple had been assuring me that things are fine, but i knew that wasnt wat i meant bcuz wat i reli needed was his presence, yet i cant bcuz i need to focus on my studies.. it reli felt terrible to face the books and notes all day long, without takin a breather outside and the next day start work again.. even wen i reli managed to see apple, the amt of quality time is super low, and i knew there were so many tings i wana say, yet i was unable to do so..

and my bday came.. but i landed up crying, jus like the past 3 years.. but this yr was slightly different as i cried twice, one is very upset, and the other was overwhelmed with the series of tings.. can say tat i was placing too high expectations that he wil understood my words and take the actions accordingly, but i was wrong.. i have to say it out, and not make the assumptions.. thus led to a big misunderstanding and wasted one valuable day of mine.. haiz.. but i finally got to "hear" the words that i din expect him to say it so soon.. for tat 3 words will mean alot to many gals (and i am one of them).. a guy should only say those words wen he reli meant it and full of sincerity.. was reli touched..

reli falling (deeply) in love with him.. gets me so attracted to him each time and i felt so comfortable being with him.. probably he had settle me in this r'ship pretty well.. though the method he used was abit "abnormal", but jus find him reli attractive in his ways.. i was leaning on his shoulders and the feeling was indescribable.. a wonderful and great feeling.. blissful-ness.. mayb abit exaggerating, but it jus made me felt like the world only got the 2 of us.. mayb tat's the feeling of love..

though i am still shy at times now, but wen it comes to sayin the ILY words, i wil jus say it loud and proud.. like i always say.. silly ppl got silly blissfulness, and probably i am one of them too.. silly, idiot, suku but happy in her ways..

这就是我...

8月27日的生日密码--处女座
8月27日 支持理想社会
宫位：处女座3º-5º
处女座一
变动的土象

不管生命中的任何时期，8月27日出生的人始终都很同情社会中的小人物、失败者以及落魄者，他们很痛苦地明白这个世界并不那么完美，因此就日常生活而言，他们会不停地问自己，该怎么做才能使事情有所改善。虽然他们对于理想的支持看起来似乎是无私的，然而，大多数出生于这一天的人或多或少还是相当喜欢培育或保护他们的人，对他们表现出崇拜或阿谀的态度。

8月27日出生的人格特质包含相当多类型，从知识分子与追求理想的到较务实的人都涵盖在内，前者珍惜原则本身的价值，后者则着重在周遭生活中显现出一种实际的影响力。对于这两种类型的人而言，物质与精神都是他们所看重的东西，因为他们十分了解，这两者都是构成人性本质与需求的要素。同样地，这两种人都会面临相同的危险：当他们面对这世界的不完美时，很可能会感到挫败或为之消极不振。

许多在今天出生的人都需要一种感觉来支撑他们，即他们是家庭或团体中要建立和睦关系时不可或缺的一分子，的确，他们无法忍受就算没有他们事情仍能顺利进行的想法，然而，有许多高度进化的8月27日出生的人，到最后都发展出一种越来越强的能力，即无条件给予，或在帮助他人之时仅要求极少的回报--如果有此要求的话。

对8月27日出生的人来说，他们的生活中简直无法缺少社会人际间的互动，所以当他们想进一步投入比较远离人群的工作、累积自身的力量或财富时，几乎很少有成功的例子。通常，太过强大的驱迫力反而会使这些8月27日出生的人整个人崩溃，或是在成堆的计划与策略当中感到挫折不堪。很明显地，出生于今天的人都明白，自己的命运是如何与其他人密不可分，所以也都非常善于使用自己相当高明的人际手腕。

在今天出生的人当中，有一类人自幼就亲身经历了这世界比较艰苦黑暗的一面，也因此，从此压抑或甚至完全根除了自己本质中的理想性。虽然这样的人并不会对这世界有太多美好的幻想，甚至还会对人性本质加以嘲讽，但是他们通常还是会保有自身是“杰出人物”的个人观点，而且仍会不时以务实的方式奉献自己、造福他人。

这一天的星象应许了精神方面极大的发展与成长，然而同样地，也伴随着经不起诱惑的危机，很显然地，要成功或失败就端看8月27日出生的人所做的选择为何。此外，今天出生的人有点倾向于消沉及负面的思考模式，人们说他们是现实主义者，但事实上他们是消极主义者。但是虽然如此，他们仍会为了家人和朋友的利益而卷起衣袖卖力帮忙。建议他们，可以加入俱乐部、社会团体或其他协助社区发展的公益机构，因为如此一来，可以更加了解自我所拥有的人性潜能。

幸运数字和守护星
8月27日出生的人会受到数字9和火星的影响。数字9对其他数字都具有很大的影响力（任何数字加上9之后，十位数与个位数的数字相加即会等于原来的那个数字，例如5+9=14，4+1=5；而任何数字乘以9之后，两个位数的数字相加也会等于9，例如9*5=45，4+5=9），同样地，8月27日出生的人也会对周围的人们施以相当的影响力。另外，火星代表力量与侵略性，充满了男性的精力，因此，对那些对女性的角色与行为仍抱持传统思想的人来说，8月27日出生的女性似乎显得有点过于强悍。火星和水星（处女座的主宰行星）联合起来的影响力会使人拥有直觉的洞察力，然而，也会使人有好辩倾向，或是在待人处事上显得有些唐突。

健康
8月27日出生的人通常并不会太注意自己的健康及外表，更糟的是，他们还常因忙着别人的事而累垮了自己。而且，如果他们发现到自己的辛劳并未得到别人的认同时，就必须警觉自己是否会一下子觉得十分沮丧，举例来说，当他们的孩子长大时，他们就会觉得自己已不再被人需要了。对8月27日出生的人来说，良好的健康和内在精神的稳定性与宗教价值观有直接的相关性，当然，也与他们不断维持良好的饮食、睡眠及运动的习惯有关。重要的是，在消沉的时候，他们也必须避免过量的酒精摄取。

建议
不要过于专注在个人的困扰中。如果你不曾帮助过别人的话，现在就可以马上着手进行，你为此而付出的辛劳将会帮你认清自己的道路，以及你处身于这世界中的位置。不要任由恒久不变的理念来限制你的思考及创造力。

塔罗牌
大秘仪塔罗牌的第9张是[隐士]，他提着一盏灯、拄着拐杖，代表冥想、孤立与寂静，象征智慧的结晶及绝对的纪律。隐士是严厉的导师，他运用良好使人走上正途。牌面正立时，代表有所坚持、有目标、深沉且专注；牌面倒立表示专断、不易原谅他人、多疑以及气馁。

静思语
所有事物皆息息相关。

优点 社会现实性、关怀、理想主义者。
缺点 过于投入、消沉、容易紧张。

我要加油！

i am tired...but i must carry on..

thks all for the concern on my r'ship...dun wish to tink too much..

i may not be able to list out the tings he had done for me, bcuz love is felt thru our inner hearts, not by actions/words..

sometimes it doesnt matter who love who more, as long as you know that you want to let the other party happy.

我要加油！

who do I love?

someone ever told me this - "you must love yourself before you can love someone.." bcuz if you dont love urself more, u might end up getting hurt.. thus for a period of time, i tried finding ways to love myself more, and i failed badly.. i stil ended up loving someone more than myself.. but i oso realised that while i am loving someone, i am loving myself at the same time, cuz i am receiving love too..

same old words.. there are so many tings i wana update, yet too little time to do so, and i reli get the chance to update, i forgot wat i wana write.. hehe.. but recently, got a sudden feel of insecurity.. and it doesnt come from him.. jus duno how to describe it properly.. mayb too attached to him liao..

A + B = AB..? (Part 2)

8月23日～9月23日

Ｂ型处女座的性格——性格及气质

循规蹈矩的乐天派 　　

Ｂ型与处女座的两者之间可以说是截然不同的特征，而Ｂ型处女座的你，拥有的也就是这种矛盾冲突的性格。 　　

Ｂ型的性格，具有乐观及直率的特征，行动非常积极，不过略嫌缺乏预先周密计划的谨慎态度。 　　

Ｂ型的特征，则一板一眼而略带神经质。你做事非常有条理、有计划而且谨慎，最厌恶半途而废，无法贯彻始终的人。最值得一提的 是，室女的人多半都有相当严重的洁癖，爱干净的程度到了灰尘不染 的地步。 　　

所谓的矛盾冲突性格，就是指这些对立的性格，时时在你的心中激荡，使你做事时经常会对自己的行动怀疑，不断地瞻前顾后，往往造成心烦意乱，犹豫不决的情况。 　　

与你初相识人人，可能会觉得你这个人很乐观，快人快语，容易相处，而事实上，你的内心深处却隐藏了过份谨慎这不为人所了解的 一面。 　　

试想，你是否常分享同学朋友们的一些内心话，自己却极少把自己的事告诉别人，尤其是关于感情方面。 　　

对于工作你绝不会偷工减料，一定会很规矩地完成它，而且如果没有亲自看它做好，便觉得不放心。 　　

但日常生活中的事，就大不相同了，你经常会丢三落四，要不就迷迷糊糊，而显得有点儿懒散。

求知欲旺盛的学究 　　

你对事情的态度也是相当矛盾，有时在一秒钟前觉得取舍，而一秒以后却又豁然开朗，有时的确有“天下本无事，庸人自忧之”嫌疑。 　　

虽然，你常告诉自己要过自由自在的日子，不受任何牵绊。可是，事实上你内心里在意的东西实在太多了，你好面子抛不开形式和传统束缚。平心而论你并没有得到自己预期的心灵解放。 　　

你的另一个特征是求知欲旺盛，是个用功的学生，对问题总是用 心研究，你在求学态度上也不偏执，对很多事情都有兴趣学习，可能会特别偏好分析性的研究。 　　

你对小事情能够掌握得很好，耍需要抓住提纲挈领的大问题时，就显得心有余而力不足。有时，你对事情的看法会因分析过度而拘泥于微枝未节，十分放不开。 　　

“好辩”可能是你的缺点之一，由于你对事情的分析能力甚强，因此遇事动辄分析、批评，对于不屑的事，往往批评得体无完肤。所以，你应注意常怀隐恶扬善的心情，对别人别过于苛刻，否则因此失 去朋友，就得不赏失了。 　　

忠告：好辩可能使你树立许多敌人，人生中的许多事情并不需过于一板一眼，凡事不要太计较，以免遭人学究之讥。 　

Ｂ型处女座的爱情——爱与性的倾向

恐男症的女性 　　

其实，在你的心中充满了情意，Ｂ型室女座的女性，在少女时更是经常在梦中编织纯纯的恋情，但是，一旦自己谈起恋爱，却怎么也没法跟对方自然地相处，而且态度消极，你的恋情最后都是以单恋而结束，可能一辈子都没向对方倾诉爱慕之意，很令人遗憾。 　　

虽然，处女座的人对异性充满了好奇，但是却过分拘谨害羞，不敢轻易接受异性 　　

一般来说，Ｂ型处女座的女性，对男人有畏惧的倾向，很难忍受男性肌肉发达的身体及气味，在你的观念中，认为一个人应纯净如天使，干干净净、清清爽爽，若是无意间跟男性肌肤相触，通常都会觉 得令你恶心，久久无法适应。 　　

Ｂ型的人之所以会如此排斥异性，究其原因，或许是对性的一种抗拒。由于洁癖的个性，Ｂ型的人对于肉体的接触及性欲觉得难以接受，再加上小心谨慎的天性，更加害怕跟异性发生肉体关系之后，自己受到伤害。你之所以无法积极地享受恋爱的快乐，便是受到上述观念的影响。

崇尚精神恋爱
　　
Ｂ型处女座的你，所希望的恋爱方式是属于柏拉图式的精神交流，在选择伴侣时，你的首要条件是能跟对方深入谈心，沟通心灵，至于对方的外表，便不是十分重要了。 　　

你一旦觉得跟对方彼此能够分享知识及人生观，就会感到相当满足，通常你们两人约会时，极少亲密地挽手漫步，或亲切地交谈，你希望多了解对方的内涵及学识，因此，你会把话题引向这方面，然后大发议论，似乎缺少了那么一点罗曼蒂克的恋爱气氛。 　　

这种情形，或许处女座的人偏向理性方面的表现，然而，也有可能是为了掩饰自己的热情。 　　

虽然，你响往精神恋爱，不过你并不因此觉得有了爱情就可以丢弃面包。你还是相当注重现实跟利害关系。 　　

你要求对方给你安定、幸福的保证，而你也十分怜惜你和对方的这段姻缘。 　　

此型的你，应改变自己的观念，不要完全排斥性，其实当跟你所爱的结合为一体，也是一种完美的爱。 　　

忠告：此型的女性们，别对男性过分拘谨害羞，美好的爱情正等待着你。 　

Ｂ型处女座的婚姻——婚姻及家庭

晚婚但安定的婚姻 　　

Ｂ型处女座的你，属于晚婚型，不地你的婚姻生活极少有波动，算得上是相当稳定。 　　

你之所以晚婚的原因，跟你慎重小心的性格及洁癖有关，若不是十分合意，你不会贸然决定，那与你要求完美的性格不相符。 　　

在决定结婚之前，你会十分多虑，顾虑到很多方面，而且显得闷闷不乐，可是一旦突破了这层心理障碍整个人变得积极而且快乐。 　　

你在结婚之后，会尽力维持婚姻的安定及幸福，即使对方有些行为令你不满，你也会压抑自己，造成这种情形的主要原因在于你害怕婚姻的失败。 　　

不过，虽然室女的人害怕离婚，但是如果你的不满升高到极点，无法忍受对方片刻，那么，你就不会再谋求其他解决之道，试图沟通、沟通，协调，甚或委曲求全，因为你觉得他破坏了你完美主义的梦，此时，你会不加思索便决定离婚。 　　

如果你的Ｂ型气质较为浓厚，在断然离婚之后，有可能再找到生命的第二个春天。

两种矛盾的复合体 　　

Ｂ型处女座的你，在婚后能使家庭充满的朝气，原因便在于年轻的性格。 　　

由于你的性格，你会把家里整理得井然有序，任何事情你都要按照室女座的模型，循规蹈矩地处理好，你觉得未来需要细心的规划，你的婚姻可说是朝着整齐划一这个目标而努力。 　　

但是，有时Ｂ型任性的因子会作怪，便影响了上述的规则。 　　

有时Ｂ型处女座的你，又擦又洗地把家里弄得非常整齐洁净，可是有时候你又什么都不管，只顾沉迷于一件自己感兴趣的事。有时你为家庭精打细算地记帐，可是一会儿又嫌麻烦，把帐本丢在一边。 　　

Ｂ型处女座的男性也是如此，有时很勤劳地帮太太整理许多家务，有时却又以工作为借口，故意躲避家务。 　　

因此，从这样的矛盾个性来看，你的家庭生活还不失为变化万千、多姿多彩。 　　

不过，有一点要提醒你的是，碰到不如意的事时，千万别把孩子当作出气筒。 　　

忠告：婚姻中任何微小的间隙，都可能造成无法弥补的伤痕，适时倾吐不满，才能化解危机。 　

Ｂ型处女座的事业——职业与成功的可能性

适合富于理性的职业 　　

Ｂ型处女座的你，比较适合从事实务方面的工作，你数字观念很佳，税务、会计、银行等工作，会很适合你。 　　

不过，如果Ｂ型气质胜过室女座的气质，那情形又有不同了。 　　

你的身体状况并不适合从事过于劳累的工作，需要耗费过多体力，以衣细微繁琐的工作最好能避免。 　　

Ｂ型处女座的你，最能发挥才能的职业，是有关语文方面的工作，也就理性文化的范畴。有不少Ｂ型处女座的人有相当不错的文笔， 像这类的人，便能胜任新闻杂志、出版业、评论或是写作。 　　

上述的理性文化类中，犹以评论家最适合Ｂ型处女座的人，因为你面对不很符合你理想中的世界，就忍不住希望它变成完美，你希望大家知道他的缺点何在，希望能一一改进，面对他人的文学作品时， 你的态度亦然。 　　

因此，如果你能从事学术研究，或是教育机关、医疗、社会福利等工作，也可能有很大的发展。 　　此型的你，年纪渐长之后，职位会愈趋稳定，不过，到了一定的程度时，便不再往上升迁，相当可惜。 　　

忠告：不可勉强从事需要劳力的工作，从事实务方面的工作或富于理性的工作会较适合你。 　

Ｂ型处女座的财运——金钱及财运

稳定的财运 　　

Ｂ型处女座的你，比较重视精神，所以对于钱财并不是十分看重，不过你的金钱运势算是相当稳定而可靠的。 　　

对于每个月的固定花费及固定储蓄，你都有一定的计划，很少出现透支的情形，可以说是个勤俭致富型的。 　　

由于这种良好习惯的保持，你的财运随着年龄的增加而显得更加旺盛，愈近晚年，生活愈富足。 　　你生性谨慎小心，所以你大概不会想去从事投机的事业，至于赌博，就更不可能了。因此，你的财运不会出现危机，目的仅是为了确保生活的安定，由于你对金钱的欲望很淡薄，所以，你的储蓄不会太多，也很少拿金钱去娱乐一番。 　　

到了晚年，你会有一此不动产，但是，由于个性所致，你很难成为巨富，拥有自己的财富王国。 　　

忠告：忠实的理财方式，以及固定的金钱收支，会使你拥有稳定的财富，可从事投资以增加财富。

A + B = AB..? (Part 1)

6月22日～7月22日

Ａ型巨蟹座的性格——性格及气质

家庭至上型
　　
Ａ型巨蟹座的你，在性格上两者十分吻合，都是重视原则，喜欢脚踏实地的生活的人，可说是最能巧妙搭配的类型。
　　
你是一个遵守社会法规及重视生活常识的人，安份守己的地过着踏实的日子。你也是一个相当保守、念旧的人，要你改变原有的生活方式，或创造新的事物，对你来说是不太可能的，你宁可改革旧有的事物，或做体制上的改变，但不喜欢动摇生活根基的改革。 　　

这样的个性表现在表现在社会上，你会对自己的国家及生活非常热爱，永远跽心耿耿，矢志不变，也非常富于团体的精神。在日常生活中，也会表现出对家庭的热爱，为家庭劳心劳力的牺牲精神死而无憾。 　　

巨蟹座的重视国家、家庭和朋友的程度，远比其他程度来得强烈 ，也正因如此，你容易流露出偏袒亲友及利己主义的本性，无论你置身在任何集团之中，你只和自己情投意合、谈得来的人交往，于是你 的人际关系便显得稍微封闭了一些，对你产生不利的影响，应多加留意，以免形成了闭锁的小圈子，使人际关系受到阻碍。

以个人的好恶判断是非 　　

巨蟹座的支配星是月球，主掌人类的感情，象征着母性的爱，这在Ａ型巨蟹座的人身上，可以明显看得出来。 　　

从感情方面来说，你丰富而敏感，就如一片湖水一般，只要一颗小小的石粒，就可以把你的心湖激起层层涟漪，荡澜不已。因此，人的情绪很不稳定，变化也相当剧烈，旁人常会觉得你喜怒无常，尤其是你立刻把起伏的感情表现出来的时候。 　　

在平常，你的态度温和又乐于助人，是公认的好好先生。但是， 一旦你因为某件事而不高兴时，便立刻板起脸孔，对人不理不睬，而且一直钻牛角尖，结果心情便愈加恶劣。其实，你只要稍微控制一下自己的情绪，便会是一个很受欢迎的人物。 　　

你是一个感情重于理智的人，做一项决定时很容易感情用事，无法冷静地正确判断，如果我身为一个领导者便需注意此点，否则就会有失职的可能。 　　

此外，你具有母性般的爱，无论是男是女，感情都极细腻，尤其对家人，更表现得无微不至。不过，你的爱很深，恨也同样很深，对你的人际关系有莫大的影响。 　　

总之，你有女性化的倾向，同情弱者，抵抗强者，有悲天悯人的 胸襟，感情十分丰富。 　　

忠告：切莫只关心周围的事情，应扩大视野 　

Ａ型巨蟹座的爱情——爱与性的倾向

平凡的恋情 　　

Ａ巨蟹座的你，谈恋爱都是以结婚为前提，不象双子座的人，视 爱情如游戏一般，也不会像天蝎座的人，爱得惊天动地，不惜牺牲一 切，只为对方燃烧奉献。 　　

而巨蟹座的你，母性强烈，注重家庭，所以你只要一谈恋爱，就 会把对方当成自己未来结婚的对象，也会幻想未来的婚姻生活，幻想着两人携手共同组织未来的家，这是一幅多么温馨美妙的景象，你的孩子将是如何地天真活泼、聪明可爱，家庭生活幸福美满，知识化你们已经结了婚似的。 　　但反过来说，如果你认为对方不适合做你的先生或妻子，你就不会给他机会，而发展到进一步的爱情，即使你很喜欢对方，也会如此总代表地控制自己的感情。 　　

因此，你开始谈恋爱之后，便会把对方带到家中，让家人与之认识交往，并意味着这就是你未来的另一半，看看家人对他的看法如何 ，充分显示出为结婚而恋爱的前奏讯息。而这种风平浪静的交往恋爱过程，除了安定之外，却是十分平常无奇，你绝不会因一见钟情而陷入爱的漩涡之中，也不会有什么曲折离奇、引人入胜的故事发生在你身上。

不讲究约会地点 　　

Ａ型巨蟹座的男性，恋母情绪非常强烈，虽然给人一种温文儒雅的感觉，但有时却又显得婆婆妈妈、唠叨得教人受不了，尤其在谈恋爱时，老是回忆起小时候的种种趣事，或以家人为话题时，表现得特别明显。 　　

女性方面，是典型的贤妻良母。在陷入热恋的时候，会为对方编织毛衣、购买衣物，充分表现出温柔体贴、细心照顾的一面，能娶到这种女性为妻，可说是莫大的福气。 　　

至于约会的地点，你并不会太在意，不一定要选在消费昂贵的大饭店，一般的小馆子一样也能有一个快快乐乐的约会时光，事实上，你更愿意在自己住的地方，跟所爱的人一起下厨。这种共同参与的亲密感，会使你的约会更融洽，更甜蜜。 　　

Ａ型巨蟹座的你，谈恋爱时并不需要特别的甜言蜜语或过分的奉承，也不需要时髦的话题及摩登的气氛，只要彼此相依相偎，觉得很温暖，便已足够了。 　　

你的性欲不算强，甚至还略稍淡薄，尤其是女性注重精神上的感觉远远超过肉体上的接触，所以你们很少会做出冲动的举动。。 　　

忠告：谈恋爱时整天腻在一起并没有必要也无益，如果过分缠人 ，恐怕会把对方吓跑。 　

Ａ型巨蟹座的婚姻——婚姻及家庭

经济上不虞匮乏 　　

由于你的恋爱是以结婚为前提，所以通常你不会花很长的时间在谈恋爱上，只要对方符合自己的条件，而且对方也愿意和自己组织家 庭，家人也不强烈反对的情形下，你和你的爱人将很快步入结婚礼堂 。因此，Ａ型巨蟹座的你通常早婚，而且很快有了孩子，全家大小过着和乐融融的安定生活。 　　
尽管你对结婚的观点很现实，但你对家庭负责尽职的认真态度却赢得了另一半的信赖和孩子的爱戴。而且你会为未来立下正确的计划 ，未雨绸缪，在善于储蓄又节俭的特性下，你的经济生活安定，物质不虞匮乏。 　　

巨蟹座的你，是十二星座中最家庭化的一个类型。做丈夫的人， 凡事以家庭为第一优先，不仅会帮助太太做家务，也会照顾啼哭不休的幼儿，减轻了不少太太的负担，而碰到休假日时，你也会整理一下庭院，修剪花草，做一些太太平日疏忽或是粗重而做不来的工作，也经常陪孩子玩耍，可说是典型的“标准先生”。 　　

而为人妻者，则是贤妻良母型，一心一意照顾自己的家庭。 孩子是父母心中的宝贝 　　

巨蟹座的你，如果为人妻子，则会尽心扮演好女儿、好媳妇、好妈妈、好妻子的角色，对家庭做最大的奉献。尤其你终其一生都会场了儿女操心，也极宠爱他们，然而一旦孩子到了学龄期时，就充分发挥父母重视教育的功能，你以身作则，一心一意盼望孩子能够成龙成凤。这种“母性爱的光辉”不仅表现在母亲的身上，在父亲的身上也可见到。 　　

因此，你家庭中必定以孩子为中心，即使夫妻的感情有了裂痕， 为了孩子的幸福着想，你仍然会继续忍受下去，维持其一段婚姻。此 时，孩子反而成为你们之间的桥梁，婚姻持续的原动力。 　　

不过，你对孩子的宠爱，有时会变成溺爱，反而使他们依赖成为习惯，没有培养出自立与成长的独立人格，一旦脱离了父母庇护的羽翼，就不会独自飞翔，更不可能了解身为父母的你，是多么殷切盼望他们出人头地的心理！ 　　

在经济方面，巨解座的你很善于运用金钱，这方面并不会带给你婚姻上的问题。反而是做丈夫的喜欢插手管家务事，而经常引起夫妻间的磨擦，值得注意。 　　

忠告：切勿过于袒护孩子，而引起人际关系的恶化。 　

Ａ型巨蟹座的事业——职业与成功的可能性

适合发挥母性特质的职业 　　

Ａ型巨蟹座的你，最大的特征是女性化，凡事总以家庭为重，男性热爱家庭、牺牲自我，女性则是贤妻良母，为家庭而奉献。因此， 你适合从事的职业，以能发挥本身天生细腻的感情及关心的工作为主 ，例如：护士、保姆、小儿科医生等等。 　　

又因为你对家庭特别关怀，所以你也适从事有关建筑或室内设计的工作。你就像居住在沙滩的螃蟹一样，喜欢一个舒适、安全的居住环境，而寻找稳固的岩石洞为依靠。 　　

讲究饮食也是巨蟹座的特征之一，因此有关食品的工作，例如： 厨师、烹饪师等，你也可以表现得很称职。 　　

你的忍耐力很强，无论从事什么工作，都能坚持到底，贯彻始终，很少会有半途而废的情形发生。尤其如果你和同志同道合的朋友合夥，一起搭火，更是如虎添翼，格外卖力。你的才能也更能发挥。所 以，你不适合独当一面经营事业，你需要一位帮手来协助你，才能出人头地，获得成功。不过，感情用事、拖泥带水、主观意识强都将是 你的致使伤，务必要改进。 　　

忠告：如果能克服情绪上的弱点，你将更讨人喜欢，对事业也将有极大的帮助。 　

Ａ型巨蟹座的财运——金钱与财运

积少成多的人 　　

你的财运相当不错，但你并不属于突然发了一笔横财就致富的类型。 　　

你很会精打细算，就像一位量入为出、锱铢必较的家庭主妇，买 一件东西都需货比三家，考虑很久，认为合算便宜才会购买，而且还详细地记录每一毛钱的收支情形，这种节俭的作风，正是你致富的原因。 　　

因此，你绝不会浪费自己一分一厘的钱，只要决定了生活开支的大概数目，便会从每个月的薪水中拨出来，其余便全部存入银行，而你便在这个预定的额度内控制开支，妥善运用，绝不会透支。而那些不到月底就四处向人借钱的人，你更觉得是不可思议的事，认为他们一定是太浪费了。 　　

由于你不随便浪费，具有节俭的精神，加上你喜欢储蓄的性格， 你的储财能力将会不错，而且你对于子女的疼爱，对家庭的未雨绸缪 ，将使你更加努力地积蓄钱财，以使他们生活无后顾之忧。 　　

而你的储财方式，也是最不具风险的，在踏踏实实、安安稳稳的存钱方式下，愈到晚年，财富愈丰富，经济愈富裕，生活得更舒适。 　　

不过，由于你太注重金钱了，有时人家会认为你是一毛不拔的铁公鸡，太小气了，无形中疏远的朋友，缩小交际范围。 　　

忠告：为了使你的人际关系更为良好，有时不能过于吝啬。

Friday 13th

Today is Friday the 13th.. but I dun reli believe in that thing..

Finally can take a short break to write a little update of my life recently..

6 mths into my job, I realised that I am reli not suitable for desk-bound job (that was what I told my ex-manager when I first gotten a job at FP), and the govt way of doin work.. I like to let my ideas run freely and wildly, thus I need to see new things.. I dun have the passion for this job.. neither can treat it as fun to enjoy it.. everyday is like draggin myself to work, doin monotonous and brainless work.. where have capibilities gone to..? It's true that I like publicity, branding and marcom things, but the learning curve is moving too slowly as my road is blocked by clearing all those administrative work..

Yippee.. My r'ship with apple had crossed the 4-mth mark, and I am still continue to count my happiness and blessings everyday.. Not that much of the insecurity-ness now, and more open to share things with him.. Can say that the way of him settling me into the r'ship was very good, and I reli felt very comfortable being with him.. My fren asked me, "is he the one for u?" I din give an immediate answer, but I went back and thought abt it.. The answer was YES, bcuz I was able to visualise having and building a future with him, this is something that I was unable to visualise previously.. Though I seldom like to tink abt the future, the image of him was part of my future.. I am liking (loving?) him more and more, and there comes the "problem".. Everytime after we meet, I wil start to miss him.. It's been happening recently.. nvm, mayb the frequency wil be back to normal some time later.. =)

Very Busy Ar..

Got lots of entries to blog, but too busy to blog.. haiz.. wait til i got time den i blog ba..

Yesterday..

Yesterday was a simple day..
Simple trip..
Simple lunch..
Simple walk at West Mall..
Simple ice-cream..
Simple laugh/blush..
Simple present-giving to him..
Simple kiss..
Simple goodbye..
All within a simple 3-hour meeting..

May 14th

Today is a special day.. at least for me..
Today is my 3rd year knowing him.. and also our 101th day together..
I had planned to have a nice dinner with him today, but due to unforseen events, there are some changes to the programme..
If I were to say that I am not disappointed, I would be lying bcuz today is one of the rare days that I have set expectations..
Be Happy!! =)

我的爱情观

Jus came back from a long day of work at Istana Open House, but felt like bloggin this b4 i went to slp, and this blog may sound abit weird cuz i'm very sleepy oredi..

Me and my colleagues went for a gd meal after the event, and we were sharing some topics on love (I guessed tat was the most common topic to chat abt within young adults like us).. I wun touch on all the areas, mayb just a few, if not it would be a long story again.. There was one part where we were talkin abt R - there were a couple of negative comments abt him, but I felt tat on the overall, he's stil an "OK" guy.. Heard a different side of him apart from work, thou I duno how true was the information that he said.. He was sayin tat his gf complained tat he had not been spendin time with her lately, even since he got himself this job, my first reaction was, "wah..so demanding ar..?", bcuz I realised tat some gals are like tat.. haha.. Thou R can be very aggressive and direct at work, I could see tat he had decided tat his gf is the one for him, if not they wun go and apply for flat, isnt it..?

Whenever a grp of ppl gathered together, the tendency of them talkin abt bgr is rather high, as in sharin own stories/viewpoints of a bgr.. I tink gals are a little more chatty, so we will tend to like to share our stories, and I'm one of them too.. Hehe.. So wen A asked me abt my apple, I was jus sharin part of it, cuz it wil take a long time to say in details.. But I realised one ting, and pls see below..

I find it a pleasure to share my story of me and apple to others bcuz it was like a fairytale story happening in real life, but on the other hand, it became a feedback session for me wen they start to comment after hearin the whole story.. In one of my previous entries, I mentioned tat I do wish to have a guy who wil do tings tat other guys were doin, but IF the guy I chosen doesnt belong to tat type, does tat mean tat I should look for other guys..?

Some of my frens might have mistaken tat apple is a very wonderful guy upon seein my blog entries - someone who had done alot of tings for me, and probably the kind of bf tat everyone would like to have.. but the fact was he is jus a normal average guy, and there were times tat my fellow frens "seriously" doubted my choice, cuz I can be such a 大女人 at work, but wen it comes to such tings, how come I am like tat..?

To those who duno wat kind of person apple is, here is jus a brief description of him.. He is:
- abt my height (but taller than me)
- small to medium build (but he said he is gettin fatter)
- talks/walks/looks like an ah-beng (this is wat he told me back then, thus gd to use as description)
- doesnt like to shave much (thus may look more matured at times)
- homely (he likes to stay at hm most of the time)
- favorite pastime: sleepin
- "scary" temper & will use international sign language (especially when he's drivin)
- hv a versatile voice (huh..???)
- loves his 2 twin nephews (I love them too)
- hv beautiful long eyelashes (so pretty!!)
- behaves like a big kid (same as me)
- hv a gorgeous red Getz (tat's my favorite color)
- strong family bond
- traditional & devoted buddhist (I'm half past six)
- chin chin chai chai (easy going)
- (let me try to tink before addin on..)

And abt his "behavior" towards me..
- ability to crap his way thru n made me wan to vomit blood (extraordinary)
- never throw his temper on me (phew~ lucky)
- a good listening ear
- recognises and values me as part of his family
- available most of the time (to complain)
- appreciates and accepts my wilfulness/sillyness
- seems to know wat was I tinkin (telepathy..?)

The followin comments were mentioned by my frens, thus I felt tat I should not put them together with the above characteristics..
- "boring" (we seemed to hang ard the same places/area)
- "not very thoughtful" (why cant he come find me/fetch me)
- "not socialable" (my frens saw him by chance only)
- "unknown" (I dun hv a clear pic of him)
- "not normal" (we dun meet/talk over phone very often)
- "unromantic" (ME: is tat a must?? I dun find tat it's necessary, mayb a little wil do)
- "take me for granted" (ME: not tat serious ba??)

I admitted tat at times, I do like to have the same "privileges" as other gals, whereby they wil ask their bfs do this do tat, and their bfs did.. and mayb I do sound abit "grumbling" tat apple dun do those tings, but pls dun take it tat I'm serious, I'm jus sayin them in a jokingly manner.. I have my ways to divert my attention to such "temptations".. YES, it's true tat he dun do those tings, but we hv jus started, and who noes, he may do it in future..? Even if he doesnt do it, it's ok too.. Dun see tings too objectively, there are always more than one side to a story.. view it positively.. Jus like how I treated the meetings with him.. I treated them like my very first date with him every time, tat wil makes me have the thrillin n excited feelin.. I believe my frens would have been shakin ur head and say, "this gal hopeless case liao, so stubborn.." haha..

But that's my viewpoint on love.. =)

Had a wonderful and great weekend!!

I had a wonderful weekend these 2 days!! bcuz me got to see apple for 2 days.. =)
I got my first chance watching a concert with him, and it's one of my favorite group - Mayday.. It was a great and fantastic concert, and I guessed it felt so good bcuz he was seated beside me.. How I wished the concert will continue on, and I can get to hold his hands longer.. It was also a good experience to walk out of the concert hall and walked to the bus stop.. walking under the sky of stars ~ oh, tat's romantic..

Reaching the 3 mths' mark in another week, can say that I'm stil very happy with him.. He made me felt important, especially during the period that I felt very down and demoralised.. He was there for me when i needed most.. He worries, cares, shares, and likes me, jus like the way I did towards him.. Jiayou!!

Life is so unpredictable..

Aloy's grandma has just passed away, and I got to know abt this news was when I logged into Facebook, and saw the msg that he had displayed on his page: "Aloysius Yeo is asking everyone to give a little prayer for his grandmother who passed away on 13 Apr 08 at around 3 plus in the morning!!"

He asked me out for dinner on the day b4 his bday, and I somehow guessed that something was wrong wen I heard his voice and also bcuz he would call me like this if he is not feeling down.. On our way to our dinner, I got to know abt the hospitalisation of his grandma and the stories abt his family.. He was kinda indecisive on whether to pay a visit to his grandma as he was rather pissed off by the words of wat his relatives had said, but I told him to go visit her b4 he reli regrets it - bcuz I had my regrets for not being able to have a last look of my grandma b4 she breathed her last 8 yrs ago.. Thou upset, I din reli feel the pain and regretful back then (probably I'm stil young..?), but the feeling of regret jus came out suddenly wen I heard the grandma of one of my ex-staff had passed away.. It jus bring back alot of memories and mayb I had grew up, so I noe how it reli feels.. from tat day onwards, I told myself I have to cherish the ppl ard me, esp those I reli cared and loved, so tat I wun have any regrets.. Though I duno hv I been doin wat I had said, but I'm tryin my best to conserve any bits and pieces of beautiful memories that I am having..

Was passin by Times Bookshop at PS tat day, and happened to see a book talkin abt wat wil you do if you are left with 1 hour to live.. The book was compiled by an author's wife whose husband had passed away suddenly, and b4 that he had written a short note abt wat are the tings that he wil do if he is left with 1 hour to live.. I din manage to read finish the book, but it somehow inspires me to tink wat would I do if the same situation was to happen to me..?

Jus like my blog title says - Life is so unpredictable.. You wouldn't noe wat would happen the next second, minute or day.. thus I always like to say, 开心是一天，不开心也是一天，何不开开心心地过每一天？ Live life to your fullest.. I like to fantacise alot or rather I watched too much of drama serials whereby the ppl in the drama lost their memories or gone missing suddenly.. If ever one day I din lose my memory, I hope someone would tell me that I have this blog or notes in my hp, which I noted down alot of tings that happened during these few years of my life.. and if I am only left with 1 hour to live, I would choose to spend it with apple - someone whom I reli cherished now.. tellin him the tings tat I nv been able to tell him, and many other tings tat I cant tink of now.. at the same time, msg my friends and tell them how much I thanked them and loved them in my growing up process.. and also my gratitude to my parents and bro..

I seemed to be too serious liao.. but who noes wat would happen, isnt it..? good to hv a "guideline" to see if tings reli happen, if not jus count my blessings everyday and share my happiness to the ppl beside me..

To all ppl out there.. must be happy always ar..!!

My Kiss Personality..

Was kinda boliao tat day, so went to some sites to do some personality tests..

You're a Shy Kisser
You *do* love to kiss, once your comfortable with it
And that means knowing the person you're kissing pretty well
You usually don't make the first move when it comes to making out
But you've got plenty of intensity in return

Sandy, you're a Bashful Kisser
Sure you might be on the shy side as far as kissing goes, but that's a quality more people than you might think really go for. When you were younger, was it hard for you to talk to new people — especially when it came to someone you were interested in? Yeah, we thought so.

Lucky for you, many people, back then, and now, think that shyness is adorable and a huge turn on. After all, there's a comfort they get from the feeling that you don't lock lips with just anyone. When it comes to kissing, you're probably a little hesitant to try new techniques. Heck, you might even prefer to stick with gentle pecks until your date finally decides to take it further.

While shyness is nice, just remember not to get so anxious you forget to have fun! Know your comfort level, but experiment a little — even if that just means a public display of affection, or we dare you, a nice long kiss — eyes open, lights on!

Sandy, your perfect kiss is a First Kiss
Pretty much every kiss is better than no kiss at all, right? But nothing (nothing!) beats that butterflies-in-the-stomach, heart-racing, what's-it-going-to-be-like first kiss with someone new. You're the kind of person who loves wearing the latest clothes and hearing that hot new album before it comes out. Novelty is the spice of life no matter what you're doing or who you're doing it with, and it doesn't get any spicier than the first time.

Even if you've been with someone for years, you'd still rather kiss like it's the first time, every time. Switch it up and try something different like a breathless kiss in a strange city or a naughty stolen kiss in the backseat of a taxi, and it'll feel brand new. Trust us!

Afterthoughts from previous blog..

Now is after office hours, yet I am stil here alone, tryin hard to sort out the tings I have to do.. need to have a breather, thus thot of bloggin again.. tat's the only way i can tell my mind to have a rest and tink of sth else.. hehe..


I mentioned in the previous blog tat i got sth to say, but not appropriate in tat entry, so i decided to elaborate a little bit more here.. actually it was sth tat Tricia said while relating her date tat day, which reminded me of sth interesting tat happened to me..and also apple..


After some considerations, tink i wil post a formal blog another day with all the events that happened after I wrote "Confessions Part 2 - Present", bcuz it gets abit distorted to see a little bit here, a little bit there.. so watch out for the entry that wil come out many months later.. (cuz i took mths to finish that confession ting..)

What is Love..?

Jus met up with Tricia over a cup of coffee yest to talk abt us..

Can't imagine how tings can change so fast within 24 hrs.. haiz..

It had been a couple of years b4 we arranged to meet up as we were tied up with our work and so on, so yest was a gd chance for us to talk abt something common - bgr..

She had jus gotten "attached", with a guy whom she knew for years, and arranged to meet up for the first time last nite.. but tings seemed to have changed this morn, wen i got a slight shock upon seein her msg.. "we silently broke off".. does tat mean the vulnerability of a r'ship?

yest we were stil happily sharin our stories of love (or rather it's jus mine..?), but i could see and sense the sweetness in her heart wen the guy called/smsed her, tat was exactly the same feeling that i had wen i saw/talked to apple.. I was very glad to see her like tat as i had seldom seen her like tat, probably bcuz this is her 1st r'ship..

but the series of sms-es from her today jus made me felt the whole atmosphere changed.. it was full of uncertainties and confusion.. i told her to calm down wen she started crying and asked her to tell me wat happened last nite, wen they met up.. wen i heard the events, i thought it was normal as the guy was doing wat a gentleman should do, and wat a couple is doing.. Getting a drink with 2 straws.. Keeping the tickets stubs.. (actually wanted to relate sth of mine here, but tink beta start a new entry to elaborate as the tone here is rather sad..)

I simply told her not to worry, and all those tings were normal, but there is a part whereby i dun understand either, as in the guy seemed to turn abit cold towards her after the meetin.. and it's not as if he had never seen her in person, as he went to her competition last sat, thou my fren din manage to see him.. or is it bcuz of the msg my fren sent..? she smsed him sth like this, "if you wan to reconsider the r'ship, i'm fine with it.." bcuz she have no confidence in herself as she is slightly plump, but she was much more prettier as she noes how to doll up, unlike me, so chor lor..

back to the pt.. i was tryin to cheer her up by sayin tat it's bcuz of the msg she sent him, might have given him a wrong impression that she wasnt interested in him, so i asked her to send a msg to tell him tat she dun mean it tat way.. and asked her to wait for the reply.. but i din expect tat he din reply soon.. n i gotten more msgs fr her as time goes by..

Thou she kept on sayin tat she's alrite and she can accept watever reply that she would get from the guy, but i knew deep in her heart tat she is lying to herself as I went thru the same path as her before, and it wil take a long time + constant support from frens to get thru it..

Afterthoughts, this makes me tink "what is love?" - it is something tat can make someone at the top of the mountain at one moment, and the moment, deep down in the cliffs.. mayb tat's part and parcel of life..

words for Tricia: “大姐，你一定要加油喔！”

情侣速配

happened to see this online, and find it quite true for the both of us.. i noe it's beta not to believe such tings so much, but no harm takin a look at it.. haha..


巨蟹座：处女座　　

配对指数　　

友情：★★★★　　

爱情：★★★　　

婚姻：★★★★　　

亲情：★★★

　　谈情必读：

　　你们通常是由朋友关系开始，经过一段时间相处或者因为一些导火线使你们发觉对方可以是你的终生伴侣，不过这个阶断可能拖拖拉拉好久才肯定，你们两个都缺乏主动性而且太内向，心里面对感情有不同方向的恐惧，巨蟹座永远都怕受伤，处女座总觉得每一个恋人与他心目中的完美有大截距离，因为这样拉锯浪费了不少可贵青春，好在你们一旦走在一起，就可以有长久的关系。　　共同组织一个家庭的时间，也是你们感情的另一次考验，虽然巨蟹座很有持家之道，但比起处女座那种分毫必计的小家态度还有一点距离，要小心你们往往容易小题大做，把一些小事化大，“湿湿碎碎”的小争吵，其实很易破坏你们的感情，要小心。　　对你们来讲，Sex不是重要的一件事，只是维持大家关系的小环节，有点例行公事一样。

Honesty..

Out of a sudden, received an unusual msg from apple, which made me felt kinda touched..? cuz it's not his style to say out tings like tat out of a sudden, rather he wil show them thru his actions.. and i am oso very honest to tell him tat i wrote alot of tings tat he din noe on my blog.. (too honest liao rite?) at first, i din reli hv the intention to let him noe abt this, cuz this blog contains my deepest secrets or memories, thou there were times tat i do hope he wil come n take a look.. but now i noe he sure wil come.. aiyo.. die liao la.. haha..

i guessed it had became a habit to be honest to him startin fr the day i first knew him, bcuz it's hard to find someone tat i duno well, yet was able to let me grumble abt anythin n pour all my sorrows on.. i reli enjoyed those days where i was tellin lots of nonsense to him, and thou i do feel very bad at times, but i stil continued cuz a true listening ear is hard to find nowadays.. but as time goes by, i wil become very uneasy if i hide anything from him bcuz there was once a period of time where i hid some tings fr him, i was feeling very uncomfortable which i decided to tell him in the end and i felt sooo relieved..

And ever since the day i had an "official status" with him, i felt even better cuz there were alot of tings tat i din dare to say b4 tat (bcuz i duno is it appropriate to say them out..?), and now i can say them out to him.. initially wil stil get abit scare scare, cuz had nv done tat b4.. hmm, can say alot of my "first times" came from him, which i tink i can compile into a book liao.. haha.. can't imagine the presence of this unknown alien caused my life to change, or rather to put it seriously, he was the one who changed my perception for many tings..

there are stil many things i would like to blog, but due to work constraints, i wil always forget by the time i can blog.. mayb i wil blog them in future..? anyway, i dun tink he wil be able to read all my blog entries so fast.. haha.. and i seemed to be repeating the same old grandmother story everytime too.. hehe..

now tat he noes abt the secret of my blog, should i pray hard tat he wun come n read my blog so fast? haha.. watch out for my next entry to check on the status..

6 months after..

Yest was actually 6 months after I asked him: “你是不是喜欢我？”.. Can say I'm quite gd in remembering dates, and of cuz I remembered the series of events tat happened tat day..

I met up with apple yest, and we went to jur pt to walk around and had dinner at his house.. (I bet my frens would say: "huh.. so boring ar.. don't u two hv any other places to go beside these 2?") haha.. my replies would always be: "nvm la, at least we got go out and walk ar.."

I treat every meeting/date as first date, cuz u will feel very happy and lookin forward to it.. Jus like yest.. despite hanging out with him so many times, i'm stil quite shy til now, he has to take the initiative to hold my hand everytime.. hehe..

Can say i stil not used to seein guys bare-bodied (upper body) ba, even thou my bro n dad always did tat at home.. haha.. i wil feel very paiseh n divert my attention wen he was walkin bare-bodied after his bath (lucky he got put on his t-shirt after tat..)

Nth much in between.. walking ard jur pt, having dinner and watchin tv at his house b4 he sent me home.. but the crux was the part wen he sent me home..

Earlier in one of my entries, I mentioned abt the fear tat i had.. and after givin it a gd thot, i felt tat i need to overcome it, and with the help of him.. and coincidentally, i had a dream abt a week ago regardin tat matter.. weird rite? but anyway, let me continue with the story.. I was tinkin of "givin it another try" durin one of the times tat he sent me home, and yest was a gd chance.. haha..

Sidetrack abit.. I got a little unhappy wen he was driving very dangerously last nite along the expressway.. I kept quiet for a moment until he started the conversation again.. wen I got off the car, I told him not to drive tat dangerously, and it was very consoling to hear tat he wil change..

Back to the topic.. Wen his car reached the carpark below my block, he asked whether I wa him to send me up, I said no need, so it's time to say goodbye, as usual practice - I/he wil give each other a peck on the cheek/lips, cuz i was tinkin tat it's impossible to carry out my "mission" for the day.. haha.. in the end, (too shy to disclose, bt not sth dirty ar..), and it's probably the first time i felt comfortable kissin a guy like tat.. haha.. my heart was beating so fast than usual, faster than wen he first held my hands, but at tat split second, I knew i had overcame my fear or at least i had taken a big step out of it..

I noe it's super "goosebumpy/mushy" to write such tings here, but this is the best way i can keep my beautiful memories sealed.. Tricia asked me whether has he said the 3 magic words to me, my answer is NO, but i dun mind cuz i noe it takes time for a person to change the liking to a loving.. for him, i believed he had loved someone deeply, and hurt deeply before, thus it wil take even a longer time for him to love another person.. Thou I had mentioned this many times, but I stil want to repeat this again n again.. I'm blessed to wat I am and wat i have today, if not bcuz of him, i would have went thru even more terrible tings back then.. and the feeling of being loved n valued is reli indescribable..

sick apple..

my apple fell sick le.. got so worried wen i saw his msg and heard his voice yest.. cuz i seldom see/hear him fallin ill.. duno is it bcuz we r together now, felt abit "heartache" to hear him like tat.. thus i was up to my tricks again today.. i went down to put "special delivery" on his car..

I din bother to work OT today, bcuz my heart was not there, rather it was worryin abt his "heatiness".. weather's been very bad lately - super burning hot/heavily raining.. n we arranged to meet this fri for a date cuz we din meet up for 2 wks.. hehe.. i dun wish him to go out with me wen he is not feelin well, i wun feel gd either..

went down to jur pt to get him some "duno wat" water, and bought him egg tarts for his family too.. but din wan to go up to his house, thus i decided to place on his car again.. after puttin on his car, i started to worry abt the food, cuz there are ppl walkin abt at the carpark.. after a few mins, i decided to call him down, but i played "hide and seek" with him.. after hearin tat he went home liao, i started regrettin for not able to see him, n i called him down again, jus to take a glance..

the glance became a walk to the mrt.. haha.. can say tat my heart n mind doesnt agree on same ting again.. or rather is bcuz i missed him..? thou i always like to say tat i "suffered" fr the side effects of r'ship, but those were the tings tat i'm enjoyin now..

"happiness comes from the person who created it, and also the person who's helpin to support it" ~ sAn's philosophy..

Love is in the Air~

Had a super busy week as the financial year is closing.. imagine workin alone in the office on a sat.. haiz.. but wat to do? this is my job, i shouldnt be grumbling too much.. hehe..

Had a short conversation with Apple jus now.. stil recoverin from the "heatiness" tat he caused me - i blushes very easily wen he said sth interesting.. haha..

Jus a short recap of wat r the tings tat happened over the past few weeks..

1. had a meeting with him, but spent most of the time at his house watchin tv.. haha.. thou it can get a little bored at his house, cuz got nth much to do, but i told myself i cant "hiam", cuz at the very least, he was with me.. hehe.. my frens felt tat my dates sounded so boring, cuz i always hang ard his area, but i find them quite interesting, bcuz i enjoyed listenin to his unusual "craps" or explanations.. haha.. sometimes i felt contented/happy enough that he brought me ard the neighbourhood areas to walk walk, cuz those were the areas tat i had always miss.. "as long as you are with the rite person, anywhere you go wil be the best place, even if tat place is the most terrible place" ~ sAn's philosophy..

2. he sent me hm after tat, n we were chattin at my lift lobby.. n wen he was givin me a gdbye kiss, sth bad struck my mind, rather some bad memories came back.. mayb bcuz it's the way he kissed me tat my fear came back.. i couldnt slp well tat nite, cuz i started to tink wat might happen.. but after much tinkin, i felt tat i shld walk out of tat fear, bcuz the guy is not 77, but apple - the one who helped me walked out of my fear, n he is not someone like 77.. i felt so bad towards apple, bcuz i let the past bothers me.. but upon seeing wat apple wrote "dun tink too much of the past, wat matters is the future.." i was touched.. this made me realised tat i had found a great guy..

3. the day b4 he went for his cruise, i went down to his workin place again.. first intention was jus to put the tings down n left/take a peek of him fr far, cuz i dun wan him to send me to bus stop as i felt kinda bad to disturb his work always.. but the moment i saw him fr afar while talkin to him, i couldnt control wat my mind was tinkin.. i wanted to take a longer peek, but i gave myself away again.. he walked me to the bus stop bcuz i was reli tired, and it was a slow walk cuz i dun wan to reach the junction so fast.. *contented* hehe..

4. while he's on the ship, he gave me a call.. surprise..! hehe.. we talked for awhile, den he suddenly asked me whether i got missed him.. *stunned* where got guy so direct de..? haha.. as usual, heatiness came.. haha.. i din reli reply his qn, n continued talkin.. den b4 he said he wan to hang up, i told him tat i got one more ting to tell him.. n tat is ~ "i got missed u la".. in the end, he din hang up the phone n continued to talk til i got home.. n b4 he hung up finally, he said he oso wil miss me.. hehe.. *so sweet*

5. had a few dreams for 2 days - abt us again.. haha.. it was a dream tat was abt a ting tat i was tinkin how to do in real life, cuz i reli got no idea how.. but in the dream, the whole ting appeared to be so easy n realistic.. is it a premonition that this wil happen? cuz the last time i dreamt abt holdin his hands, n i could feel the texture very clearly.. n back in real life, the feel is the same..

conclusion: till now, i am stil happily attached and i hope this wil continue for a very very very long time.. n wat my fren said the last time came true: 下一个会更好.. he may not be the best, but he is the rite one for me..

爱*转角

The chorus of this song is the ringtone for apple whenever he calls.. Find the lyrics quite interesting..

我伪装着 不露痕迹的 想在你身边

静静的陪着看着天边 骑着单车 往前行进着

某个路口 爱在等着 你往前走 不回头看了

记忆的笑脸 缓缓的敲着我的琴键 我不舍得

让你孤单单的 我爱你的 心牵挂着

心不再拼命躲 不去害怕结果 假设有个以后

你会怎么说 一直想跟你说 幸福不再溜走

下个路口 你会看见爱 有美丽笑容

爱转角遇见了谁 是否有爱情的美

爱转角以后的街 能不能有我来陪

爱转角遇见了谁 是否不让你流泪

也许陌生到了解 让我来当你的谁

我不让爱掉眼泪 不让你掉眼泪

现在永远 你就是我 就是我的美

心不再拼命躲 不去害怕结果 假设有个以后

你会怎么说 一直想跟你说 幸福不再溜走

下个路口 你会看见爱 有美丽笑容

爱转角遇见了谁 是否有爱情的美

爱转角以后的街 能不能有我来陪

爱转角遇见了谁 是否不让你流泪

也许陌生到了解 让我来当你的谁

我不让爱掉眼泪 不让你掉眼泪

现在永远 你就是我 就是我的美

爱转角遇见了谁 是否有爱情的美

爱转角以后的街 能不能有我来陪

爱转角遇见了谁 是否不让你流泪

也许陌生到了解 让我来当你的谁

我不让爱掉眼泪 不让你掉眼泪

现在永远 你就是我 就是我的美

Reli a nice and sweet song~ Hehe..

《幸福病》 - web version

一种很严重，但不会导致死亡的病。。。
一种无药可救，但却能治愈的病。。。
一种发病时，让患者不知所措的病。。。

~ 那就是《幸福病》

不幸中的大幸，我就是得这种病的人。
至于我是不是唯一一个得这种病的人，那就得见仁见智了。
不过得了这种病的人会不希望能够完全痊愈，因为他会希望就这样的幸福下去。

也许是我想得太多，才会想出这种词汇。
也许是我从来没有真正地得到过幸福，所以才会有这样的反应。
也许是我接触的人与事还不够多，所以才会乱了阵脚。

自从那天写了一大堆东西给他后，我才发现我会这样做的原因有几个：
- 我产生了不安全感，因为一切来得太突然，而我一时无法招架得住。
- 现在的情况太“晴朗”了，才会害怕有一天会失去一切，或者这只是我所作的一场梦。。？

（所以现在我尽量想尽办法安抚自己的心，告诉自己这是正常的。）

对有些人而言，他所做的一切只不过是很平常的事，但对我而言，他所做的任何小细节，都像是天底下最好的事，因为我遇见了他。

认识他，差不多也有三年了吧~
从一个当初我只把他当作是大哥哥来倾诉的男生，到现在成为我的男朋友，这间中的过程说来还真得有点让人难以相信（曲折离奇？），因为他让我一直徘徊着予喜欢与不喜欢的挣扎中。

第一次对他有好感时，可以说是我还有点不懂事，可是当时的我是拼命地告诉自己我只能把他当大哥哥而已，不可以有任何非分之想，毕竟他大我4岁，所以他应该是只当我是他的小妹罢了。（想了一大堆理由来努力说服自己。 ）

第二次对他有好感而喜欢他时，刚好是在我最脆弱和彷徨无助的时候，我几乎对我身边的男生都产生了恐惧感，他也不例外，但就是不知为何，我却把他当成是最好的依靠。。但随着时间一天天的流逝，我对他的好感越变越深，我又在告诉自己，我不能把他当成替代品，因为这对他很不公平。。虽然又想过他也许也对我有好感，可是在一次的试探后，他的答案让我觉得好像是我错了，所以我想应该只是我的一厢情愿罢了。。幸好当时的工作量增加了，可以让我暂时把自己麻木于工作，同时我也跟他保持了一定的距离，因为不希望越陷越深。。后来听到朋友的建议，说去英国可以给我有发展的机会，想了一想，既然我并没有想要去谈一场恋爱和有点厌倦了自己的生活，也许出去看一看世界也是不错的。。

第三次喜欢他时，是因为我发现了他一路以来好像对我也是有好感的，我才决定开始敞开胸怀，放下之前的顾虑，慢慢地观察这个男生的行动。 虽然间中的那种不明关系持续的一段时间，但也让我的思想成熟了好多，因为我发现我对我身边朋友所说的话都不受影响。我是很固执的，因为我只相信我自己的判断和感觉。还有，我要看看是否这个男生是真的值得我为他而留下来。。

结论是：到现在为止是值得的。

他也许不是最好的，但没有人是完美的，我们也一样。
就是他的那种无法以言语或字句可以形容的吸引力，感动了我，也让我深深地喜欢上他。
可是就是越在乎他，越是害怕失去他。

为了要安抚我的心，我也必须安抚他的心，就因为我害怕失去。
虽然我不是很了解以前的他和他的前任女朋友的恋情，但根据我所知道的，以前的那个女生喜欢上了另一个男生，而向他提出了分手。
他们好像在一起很久，最后还是分手了，所以多多少少我会有一点心理压力，因为我不知道我们可以这样的继续走下去吗，虽然那是我最大的愿望。
有很多事情，我也许是带着“三分钟热度”的态度，但对于感情这件事，这可不是儿戏，哪可以说不喜欢就不喜欢？好在我有点笨笨傻傻的，不喜欢太复杂的东西，所以在这方面，我可以大声地说我是很专一的。（傻人有傻福？）开玩笑的啦，我只不过是想要寻找我那简单的幸福，而庆幸的是，我找到了一个跟我有着相同思想的男生。

话说回来，对感情的事来说，我还真的是一个新手，因为我还没真正地谈过一场恋爱，而之前的遭遇又不是很好，所以我变得非常地谨慎与小心，尽量不要谈到敏感的话题。
感情这种事，也许说变就可能会变，但只要双方都尽了力，和回头想一想，是否这些日子为对方所付出的一切值得吗 - 答案如果是“值得的”，就不应该有任何一丝的埋怨和后悔。
也许现在的我们还在“甜蜜期”，所以我所写的一切也许有点肉麻，但这都是我的肺腑之言。

24岁了，才让我真正的尝试到在乎与被在乎的感觉，是否会有点太迟了吗？
不会呀，因为我变成熟了，渐渐学会和懂得处理这种事，还有在他的身上体会到不同阶段的喜欢，看来现在的我，还真的是爱上了他了。

我一定要幸福，因为我得了属于我的《幸福病》。。。

《幸福病》 - diary version

this is the diary version of the above title, wil be posting the web version (which is a longer one) later.. on the general, both contents are the same, jus tat this one is i wrote it in my personal diary, and the other one is i wrote it while i'm in office (thus more detailed)..

我得了一种很严重的病，叫做《幸福病》。

一个我从未得过的病，或许曾经有过，但是很轻微的。。

它的症状包括了坐立不安，胡思乱想，和许多。。

他的启发源自于一位男生~慧杰，那就是在下的男朋友。。

因为这个病，我变得好像多了更多种的病，例如：“相思病”，“恋爱快乐病”和“心满意足病”。。

也许我从未有过这种感觉，因为我没有真正体会到被爱的滋味，被在乎的感觉和不相信自己。。

就是因为找到了他，就变得没有没有安全感，因为害怕有一天，这一切都会变成一场梦罢了。。

也许他所作的一切，只不过是一些很平常的事，可是对我而言，它们却是上天所赐给我的快乐与幸福。。

从这一刻起，我一定要学会克服这个病，不然那只会对大家造成一种无形的压力。。

就是因为他喜欢我，我才会这么的喜欢他而不想去计较些什么。。

就让我们这么地幸福下去吧！

Insecurity..?

duno wat came over me, i sms apple lots of serious stuffs.. mayb been hearin too much of "rubbish" recently.. but to tink of it clearly now, i guessed this is due to the insecurity that I have in myself.. mayb i tink too deep in some tings and being too pessimistic in such tings.. i only can say tat i'm afraid to lose the good tings, and tend to tink of the bad side.. like wat if all these are jus dreams and fantasies to me..?

can say tat i am stil in the mood of happy-ness til now, but being a pessimist, wen a person climbs higher, the harder the person wil fall wen he loses his grip (the higher the hopes are, the greater the disappointment wil be).. and this sentence did somehow came true in my life before, thus i've learnt to change my perspective now.. wen me and apple were stil an unknown pair, there were times tat he mentioned to meet, but in the end he had forgotten, and i was kinda unhappy abt it bcuz i waited the whole day long for his msg.. this made me felt very confused abt his feelings towards me (tat was b4 i asked him "you like me ar..?), so i was scared too.. okok, i admitted tat i did get angry the third time, but tat was where i finally understand tat i pinned too high hopes on tings..

the next day after i got up, i realised tat i shouldnt get angry over so minor tings.. bcuz i was oso at fault for not re-confirming the meetings the day before and assumed that he would remember all the meetings.. all ppl have different priorities, i cant be askin him to put me as his first priority when i was not even his gf back then..? tat was where i started to take this kind of things lighter, whereby i told myself tat mayb i shouldnt hv expectations for tings, den i wun hv disappointments.. hehe.. thus i am treatin every meetin as first date, cuz like tat wun expect too high ma..

but in last nite's msg, i did told him tat he got put me aeroplane b4, but i jus let it off liao, cuz i noe no pt grudgin over it.. but stil hope there wun be anymore aeroplane again.. haha..

after a thorough tinkin last nite, i guess my insecurity wil be gone soon, cuz i had sorted my thoughts out liao.. tat is - where is there to scare of? what will happen, will happen; what wun happen, no pt tinkin so much.. wat i should worry now is not insecurity, but is on how to be a good gf, cuz i duno am i being one now.. hehe.. but it reli feels great to hv someone to "bully", as in u can share ur everything with him.. tat's the gd part of being in a r'ship..

I believe the road down for us will be a long one, as long as we r truthful and open to one another, and to complement on each other strengths and weaknesses.. hope he wun mind me being too sticky too him.. haha..